Darkened Moon
by Mellie55
Summary: After Jacob leaves LaPush, will Bella be able to endure the pain? Will Edward be able to endure the guilt? What will their futures hold? Is Jacob Bella's future, or will it ultimately be Edward? Post Eclipse. My version of Breaking Dawn.
1. Another Broken Promise

**The characters in my story belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me. **

With my arms wrapped around my chest, I continued to pace the floor and glance out the window, watching for any sign of him. I had finally managed to stop crying, although it left me with a horrible headache and swollen eyes. It had been three days since Jacob had run off and Edward's subsequent disappearance. I was frantic with worry, not only because of Jacob, but because of Edward too.

Even after all of the conflicts between him and Jacob, Edward had sent Jacob an invitation to the wedding, against my wishes. I really thought it was a considerate gesture on his part, but I had been angry. Angry at Edward for telling Jacob, angry at Jacob for being such an adolescent werewolf but mostly angry at myself for continuing to hurt them both. How had I gotten to this point? How had I fallen in love with two very good people at the same time?

I still remember how Edward had deliberately allowed Jacob to overhear our conversation in the tent that morning in the mountains as we were about to begin the fight with the newborns. In his pain, Edward had stepped out of character. The torn howl of grief that escaped from the russet wolf that morning still echoed in my ears and would haunt me forever, but not as much as Jacob's kisses would. I touched my lips gingerly as I remembered the fire those kisses had left, along with my longing for more.

I peered out the window again, willing Edward to be there, but he wasn't. In my anger and pain, I had cried all night for the loss of Jacob that night as he lay in his bed mangled and in pain himself. His pain my pain. He had recovered quickly, but his pain from Edwards note had driven him past reason. He had disappeared. But that didn't change anything except make my pain even harder to bear and Edward guilt ridden.

I jumped in the bed and pulled the covers up over my head. I turned my head and screamed into the pillow as I remembered that night three days ago after I found out that Jacob had ran off.

"Edward how could you?" I cried out in pain. "I specifically told you that I didn't want to hurt Jacob by sending him an invitation."

"Bella, Bella, listen to me. I didn't intend for him to react that way." His butterscotch eyes pleaded for me to understand. "I just knew if things had been different and he had been the one to win your heart, I would have wanted to know."

"I know Edward but I didn't want him to find out that way. I guess I was being a coward. I should have talked to him myself." I wrapped my arms around my chest. Edward noticed the gesture. "No one knows where he is and can't even get in touch with him through that wolfy mind reading thing."

"Bella, I am so sorry." He sadly shook his head. "I admit that I am glad that you are mine and that you consented to be my wife, but I can't help but think that Jacob is the way your life should go. For one thing, he has a heartbeat. You can have children and grow old together. I have seen you in anguish over him Bella. It is obvious you love him." I opened my mouth to argue, but he gently placed his fingers against my lips. "Granted, I know you love me too. But be honest Bella, if I didn't exist, where would you be right now?"

"Ohhhhhh!!" I moaned in frustration. "I need a human moment." I headed for the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Looking in the mirror, I began muttering about arrogant vampires and adolescent werewolves.

After washing my hands and face, I returned to my bedroom to find it empty. No sign of Edward anywhere. I rushed to the open window and called his name. There was no answer, only the hoot of an owl and the chirping of a couple of bullfrogs. I pulled my head in, dropped into my rocking chair and began to cry.

Now look where I had gotten myself. My soul mate was gone and my personal sunshine was gone. I wrapped my arms around my chest. A sickening feeling ran through my body as the hole began to rip open again.

**Ok. This is my first attempt at writing. So, everyone please review. Give me your honest opinions. This will help me to know if I should go on with it or not. Thanks.**


	2. The Return of my Personal Sunshine

Not my characters-Stephenie's

If there was one thing I knew about vampires and werewolves, it is that are unpredictable and highly dramatic and you ultimately had to rely on yourself.

With finals over and graduation a week away, I lay on the beach soaking up the warm Jacksonville sun. For the past four years, I had lived with Renee and Phil in an apartment above their garage. Since Phil had signed with the Jacksonville Suns, he and Renee had sold the house in Phoenix and they were doing well. They insisted upon footing my college bill and allowed me to move in with them. I had taken a job at a local elementary school as a teacher's aide and it was how I paid for my books and incidentals and still had spending money. In short time, we had renovated the two bedroom apartment above the garage and I had a sweet place.

The entrance to the apartment is a set of steps coming up from the front of the garage and ending at the deck/balcony at the back. You enter my apartment through a set of French doors directly into the living/dining/kitchen area that runs the depth of the apartment. It is tastefully, although sparsely decorated in neutrals of sand, sky and sea.

Nothing in this room would remind anyone of my previous life at forks, except that I had brought with me my rocking chair from childhood. I often liked to imagine Edward sitting there. The rocker is nestled between a plant and my entertainment center /computer armoire that contains my stereo, TV and computer. My stereo gets used more than anything else, besides when I have homework.

Facing the rocker is a small sky blue sofa that would probably pass off as more of a love seat. Over the back is a soft sand colored throw. Adjacent to that, in the middle of the room is my natural wood dining table. It is a trendy table that you might see in local pubs. It stands taller and the chairs have long legs. You could walk up and comfortably rest your elbows on the table and stand. The seats are padded in the same soft sky blue material of the sofa.

Next is my kitchen overlooking the front of the garage and although it is a bit on the small side, it lacks nothing. I am an excellent cook and I love cooking. The cabinets are made of the same natural wood with the granite on the counters being a natural sandy tone. The natural wood look carried to the floors throughout the apartment. Soft scatter rugs are placed strategically throughout the apartment in tones of sand, sky and surf. It is a beautiful effect. The walls we painted a billowy white with a hint of blue. It reminds me of the beautiful Jacksonville sky.

To the left side of the apartment are the bedrooms with the bath nestled between. My bedroom faces the ocean with a set of French doors leading out to the deck/balcony as well. My huge bed that dominates the room is draped with a huge white comforter and piles of white pillows. White curtains hang from the tall posts on the bed and billow in the breeze. Another identical set of curtains hang at the French doors. The only punch of color in the room is the sand throw at the bottom of my bed and the sky and navy blue scatter rugs on the floors. A small dresser adorns the wall adjacent to the living room. There are a few toiletries and three framed photographs of me and Charlie, me and Edward and me and Jacob. Me and the three men of my life, although Charlie is the only one I have seen in the past four years.

The other bedroom is similarly done; however, because it is smaller, it contains a twin bed. The bathroom is just a small area done in the same tones as the rest of the apartment.

On the deck I have a patio table with four chairs and a covered swing that is large enough to be a bed. It is heaven on earth facing the beach and the ocean with the cool breeze hanging, the tang of salt, the birds circling and calling. All I needed was a bonfire and some adolescent werewolves and I could almost be at a La Push wolf soirée.

I rolled over on the beach towel to soak up some rays on my back. My mind began to wonder from Jacksonville to home-Forks. Funny, I had lived there such a short time, but my heart called it home. I often drifted back to our meadow. I wish I were an artist so I could capture those moments that were in my heart on canvas. How beautiful Edward was when he sparkled in the sun. My fingers tingled at the memories of tracing lines on his hand that first day. My heart began to race at the memories of the fire his kisses left on my lips, my hair, and my skin. I abruptly sat up in frustration. "Four years and no word!" I angrily spat. "How can I continue to feel this way?"

My arms instinctively began to encircle my chest. I became conscious of the gesture and mentally shook myself. My arms dropped to my sides. I had decided four years ago, that night in my room, that I was not going to become a zombie again. I didn't deserve that and neither did Charlie nor Renee. I had decided that I wasn't just going to go through the motions of living; I had decided to live and enjoy it. So, after my three days of mourning, I sat down and planned out my life on my terms and I have followed it to the letter. Now, four years have passed and I am no longer weak, breakable, clumsy Bella. I am educated, accomplished, confident and graceful. My life-my terms.

That moment, my cell phone rang, bringing me out of my memories. "Bella" the voice on the other end began. "How is my little girl?" Charlie asked.

"Dad. I am doing good. Laying here on the beach soaking in some rays." I laughed. "How are you dad?"

"I am doing good. I have some news for you." He blurted out. "Are you sitting down? Sit down. Jacob is back. He's been back for a couple of months now; I just didn't want to tell you in the middle of your last semester in college. I know this is a pivotal time for you."

"Jake's back?" I squeaked out. I could hardly breath. I had almost given up hope that he was even still alive.

"Yeah Bells. He's asked about you. He knows your graduation is next weekend and he would like to come with me to see you. Would that be okay?" Charlie asked hesitantly.

A rush of emotions came over me all at once. My skin began to burn that had nothing to do with the hot Jacksonville sun. "Yes, Dad, that would be wonderful." My eyes filled with tears. "I want to see Jake. I have missed him so much. I am so glad he is okay."

"Bells, he's changed." Charlie warned. "He's not the kid he once was."

I held my breath.

"I think it is a good change. He seems more mature, less reckless. I think he may have grown up." Charlie added. "I know he's terribly happy you didn't marry Edward."

I mentally winced at the mention of Edward's name. It still brings a lot of pain to hear his name. I think about him every day. No one knows that but me.

"We'll see you on Saturday then, Bells." Charlie went on. "I love ya."

"See ya Dad. Love you too." I added. "I look forward to seeing you both here this weekend."

I closed the cell phone and continued to stare at it. I hadn't seen Jake in four years. Although I was excited to see him, I was still a little angry. What had kept him so long? What would our reunion be like? What would he be like? How would he feel about me after so long? How would I feel about him? Would he still be my Jacob? My brain began to ache and reel with the thought. I gathered my things up from the beach and went in the house to share the news with Renee. I was going to need to buy more groceries.


	3. Sort of Beautiful

**These characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The one thing that's min****e is the story line. Thanks for the loan Stephenie, you are the most awesome author ever. **

**This chapter of m****y story is also inspired by the song by A Fine Frenzy, **_**Near to You**_**. I have included the lyrics in my story below, but it doesn't belong to me either, only to A Fine Frenzy, of which I am a huge fan. Go to Myspace and look them up and play the song as you read this chapter. Anyway…here's chapter 3. I hope you enjoy.**

**Sort of Beautiful.**

I stopped to take one last look in the mirror before I left for the airport. It had been four years since I have seen Jake, but I don't think I have changed all that much. Since having lived in the sunshine state for the last four years, I still couldn't be considered tan, but my skin has a glow. At the present time, my cheeks are flushed and my eyes staring back at me are bright with excitement. I carefully dressed in a crisp pair of white shorts with a blue blouse. I slipped on my white sandals, picked up my purse and keys and headed toward the truck.

Within twenty minutes, I was standing in the airport waiting for Charlie and Jake. My eyes raced back and forth across the terminal trying to pick them out in the crowd. It wasn't hard to do. It was at that moment that time seemed to stand still-and there he was. My heart skipped a beat. Sorta beautiful. Isn't that how I had described him that night at La Push. He being shirtless (I had his t-shirt pressed up against my furiously bleeding forehead) I had noticed his long sinewy muscles and russet skin. He was something beautiful then, but here in the present, he was more than that. Time had certainly been good to him. If it were possible, he was taller, his head above the crowd. His long dark hair was blowing back in the breeze as he walked or more like glided. The white t-shirt he had on did little to disguise his muscular chest. His arms were no longer sinewy, but fully developed. His russet skin and dark good looks made many women in the terminal look appreciatively. My hand traveled inadvertantly to my lips that suddenly began to burn and I smiled in satisfaction as I noticed that he only had eyes for me.

When he reached me, I still had my fingers to my lips, but I was smiling up at him with genuine joy. After a long eclipse, my personal sun had returned. Laughingly, he leaned down and grabbed me up in his arms and twirled me around before he set me down again. "Bells." He breathed. My heart thrilled at his voice which was deeper than I remembered. "

It is so good to see you. You look so beautiful."

"Jake." My eyes began to well up. "Where have you been so long? I have missed you so much." I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him like a drowing person clinging to a life raft.

At that, he picked me up again and cradled me against him. I noticed that most of the women in the terminal were looking at me enviously and Charlie was beginning to look embarrassed, yet pleased. "Uh, Bells, Jacob, maybe we should head on over to the apartment and continue our reunion there."

I reluctantly pried myself out of Jacob's arms. "I think Dad's right, Jake." I grinned sheepishly becoming increasingly aware of the jealous looks being directed at me.

"Sure, sure." Jacob agreed as he picked up the bags he had dropped and we went out to the parking lot. Dad was certainly right about Jacob's having changed. He was not only taller and more filled out, he was more mature in his attitude. Gone was the cocky, adolescent werewolf that I had gladly punched in the face and broke my hand. Replaced by something else altogether. Yet, he was still my Jacob, he was still my personal sunshine.

Jacob spied my truck in the parking lot and laughed. "Bells, have you still got this old thing." He threw his bags into the back and laughed out loud.

"Jacob William Black you be careful how you talk about my truck." I retorted with mock indignation. "I'll have you know that she is a classic and I have had several offers for her. But she and I have been through a lot together and I am not getting rid of her." I lovingly rubbed my hand across the hood.

"Whoa! Take it easy Bells. No more comments about your truck. I promise." He held his hands up in front of him as if to protect himself and heartily laughed. He reached out and pulled me into his arms again. "You sure are a beautiful little thing. I think I had forgotten just how beautiful you are."

"Jake" I complained as I pulledmyself out of his arms and glanced over at Charlie. He reluctanly released me, but refused to relinquish my hand.

Charlie grinned as he placed his bags in the back and hoisted himself into the driver's seat. "Bells, I am going to drive back so you kids can visit." Of course, he knew the way perfectly. Since I had moved here from Forks, he came to visit twice a year, once in the summer and then again at Christmas. After a week, he always returned to Forks. This visit wouldn't be any different, the plan was to attend my graduation tomorrow morning and stay a week. The ironic thing about my dad's visits is that he and Phil had really hit it off. Dad usually went to a couple of Phil's games with Renee. When he wasn't going to a game, Phil would pull out his games on DVD and he and Charlie would sit for hours and watch. This week would be no different; Charlie, Renee and Phil already had a couple of games they planned to attend, including one tonight.

The ride back to the apartment was filled with chatter as Jake took in the sights of Jacksonsville. It is easily one of the most beautiful cities in the south. But the beauty of the city couldn't hold my interest this morning. I couldn't pull my eyes away from his honey brown eyes. He held me enthrawed and he would take in the sights and then look at me like I was ice cream and he was the spoon. With his free hand, he would occasionally reach out and gently trace the line of my jaw or play with my hair. Then he would flash me a brilliant white smile. My heart was near to bursting with the intensity of his nearness. He was so sweet and gentle. I closed my eyes and leaned up against him to drink it all in. I hoped the ride would never end.

After dinner, Jacob helped me clear the table and do the dishes. Charlie had excused himself to go to the game with Renee and Phil. I was glad that he seemed to be getting over Renee finally. He had began to court Sue Clearwater this past few months and he was happier than I had seen him. Sue was still a beautiful woman. She had long dark hair that she kept braided. Like Leah, she had a classic beauty. Unlike Leah, who had been scarred by loss, Sue's face was soft and warm. Her personality enveloped you and made you feel important. Charlie and she had been pretty close since Harry passed, but they had never crossed any lines. Four years later, they had decided to begin seeing each other.

Jacob dried the last plate and placed it in the cabinet. He dried off the sink and hung the towel over the spiqot. Just as I was about to turn away, he grabbed my hands in his huge warm ones. He pulled me to him gently and wrapped my arms around his waist. When he was sure I wasn't moving, he let go my hands and gently cradled my face. He bent down and gently kissed my forehead.

"Jake. Would you like to have some lemonade with me on the deck?" He smiled down at me as he considered it.

"Sure. Sure." He said as he released me. He turned to the cabinet and pulled out two tall glasses, while I got the pitcher out of the fridge. He filled the glasses with ice cubes. Our arms entwined as we headed out onto the deck. I placed the pitcher of lemonade on the side table next to the swing. Jake filled the glasses with lemonade as I walked inside the house and turned on the stereo.

"Jake. I want you to listen to this song." I smiled at him. "It reminds me of you."

I walked over to the swing and sat down beside Jacob as the first lines of the song began.

♫♪_He and I had something beautiful  
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last  
I loved him so but I let him go  
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back♫ _

♫Such pain as this  
Shouldn't have to be experienced  
I'm still reeling from the loss,  
Still a little bit delirious_♫_

Jacob pulled me closer to him and took my glass of lemonade and placed it on the side table. His long legs dangled off the side and he gently rocked us back and forth under the canopy of stars. Smiling at me he leaned in and gently kissed me full on the lips. It wasn't an urgent angry kiss, yet it was filled with emotion, so sweet, so gentle. So much love._  
_

♫_Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you. ♫  
_

There wasn't any urgency in his lip's possession of mine. He stopped kissing me and turned to look into my eyes. As if he had found the answer to a question there, he smiled and leaned in to gently take my lips again. I shivered, but it wasn't from the breeze off the sea, as a matter of fact, I was trembling.

_♫You and I have something different  
And I'm enjoying it cautiously  
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard  
To get back to who I used to be♫  
_

He pulled away briefly, but I longed for him to kiss me again. I pulled myself up and looked into his warm eyes. He smiled as my lips took possession of his. He seemed to crumble and the depth of his passion was evident in his returning kisses. I dug my hands into his beautiful russett hair. I began to get dizzy so I threw my head back in an effort to breathe.

_  
__♫He's disappearing  
Fading subtlely  
I'm so close to being yours  
Won't you stay with me  
Please♫_

_  
__  
_His lips found the pulse at the base of my throat as his hands caressed my waist. His kisses trailed fire up my neck to my ear. I turned and found his pulse and it was warm and sweet. I planted a trail of kisses up his neck until my mouth urgently found his and my hands clawed at his chest in bittersweet passion.

♫_Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you. ♫  
_

Jacob placed his hands on either side of my face in an effort to regain his composure. He gently took my lips one last time and gathered me up next to him. He resumed pushing the swing as he stared out at the ocean. He seemed content, happier than I had ever seen him.

_  
__♫I only know that I am  
Better where you are  
I only know that I am  
Better where you are  
I only know that I belong  
Where you are♫  
_

I fought the urge to resume my trail of kisses. The fire his lovemaking had left was almost more than I could endure. But I didn't feel rejected. I felt cherised and it felt natural to lay there in his arms and cuddle as my heartbeat began to slow to normal.

_  
__♫Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
Though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on♫_

The slow swaying of the swing combined with the warmth that Jake exuded made me feel sleepy. It was if all the years had fallen away and he had been there all along. My eyes drooped as I contentedly lay next to my personal sunshine and fell into my first dreamless sleep in years.

_  
__♫Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you. ♫_

♫Yet, I'm better near to you.♫

That's it. Let me know what you think.


	4. Graduation

**Characters are not mine, they belong to Stephenie.**

I awoke with a very strange sensation. I became aware of several things at the same time. I was in my bed with a breeze blowing through my open French doors and I was incredibly warm. Jacob lay beside me and had me comfortably tucked next to him. I looked up at his beautiful face. He was awake and smiling down at me. 

"Hey there beautiful." He whispered in my ear.

"Hey to you." I smiled shyly at him, pulling the coverlet up a little further. "What time is it?"

"It's about 3:00 a.m." He replied as he yawned and stretched.

"You been awake all this time?" I asked.

"No. I am just a very light sleeper anymore." He snuggled closer under the covers.

"Where's Charlie?" I sat bolt upright in the bed attempting to jerk the covers off so I could get up.

"Hey, take it easy. He came in while we were still on the swing." He pulled me back down and tucked me in. "He's been asleep for hours in your guest room. Besides, we have only been sleeping. Nothing he could object to."

After the blast of the cool breeze, I cheerfully snuggled back up against Jacob's warm chest. "Jake?"

"Huh?" He replied sounding extremely content.

"Where have you been?" I whispered, almost afraid to ask.

He sighed. "That's a long story, Bells."

"I got all night." I softly pleaded.

"Well Bells, that note from…" He hesitated.

"From Edward." I finished for him. 

"That note from Edward, came at a bad time for me." He continued, noticing that I didn't curl and die at the mention of his name. "I had a lot on my mind. There you were weeks away from becoming a vampire and I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. I guess you know by now that I can be pretty stubborn when I have my mind set on something."

"Hadn't noticed that trait in you, Jake." I laughingly trailed my finger down his jaw line daydreaming of kissing it.

He smiled and continued. "There was also a lot of pressure to take over as Alpha of the pack. That wasn't something I was mentally ready for." He hesitated. "Then there was Leah." He turned his head as if this was a subject he really didn't want to talk about.

"Leah?" I asked. "I know Leah had made life at LaPush hard on all the werewolves, but I didn't know it was getting to you that bad. I remember that she tried to take on a newborn alone and you jumped in to save her and nearly got yourself killed."

"Yeah. Well, Leah had made it her personal duty in life to become my…uh…protector. It was becoming increasingly hard to deny…to reject that kind of com…" He tried to go on but couldn't seem to find the words. "You see…she…I"

I thought it was probably one of those wolfy things that he had been ordered not to talk about because it was causing him such stress to try to talk about it. "Jake." I soothed him. "Don't let it bother you. I understand."

"You do?" He was clearly shocked that I was being so understanding about the wolfy order thing. But we had labored with it before. 

I wanted to end his struggle. "Where did you go when you ran off?" I changed the subject.

"I just ran south until I ran out of forest." He was staring out toward the beach remembering. "I finally stopped in East Texas near Livingston. There, nestled deep in the Big Thicket I found one of the oldest tribes, the Alabama-Coushatta. I was taken in by the chief, Morgan Caulder**."**

**"I quickly found out that there in the south they are overrun by vampires. They have frequent newborn wars like the ones we experienced in LaPush." He continued. "The tribe is strong with many traditions and they have faced many hardships. The wolf manifested itself to them to help them protect themselves and other humans there."**

**He held his head up with pride. "I was proud to join them in the wars against the vampires. I realize now that not all vampires are the same." He looked at me warily and continued. "Having experienced ruthless vampires using humans as pawns, I realize that the Cullens are not bad vampires. With all the carnage I have seen, it really makes me appreciate the protection they have been to LaPush by living there and not taking human life." He conceded. **

**"Jasper had talked about the newborn wars. I think when he was changed he was directly involved in it. Sort of like a wrangler." I added. "I believe that it was in the south where Victoria got her idea to do it."**

**"Victoria nearly cost me people I care about." Jacob tensed with anger. "I just wish I had been the one to take her out."**

**"I did beg you to stay there with me that day." I reminded him. "Had you stayed, you would have been in on the fight with Victoria."**

**"Yes, but Leah might have gotten hurt." He shook his head as if to rid himself of a bad memory.**

**"Maybe, but you might not have been injured had you not been there to protect her." I added with a tinge of anger to my voice.**

**"Well, I recovered." He cuddled me up to him. "We all did and it is a distant memory from long ago."**

**"Other than vampire wars and werewolf training, did you do anything else while you were in Texas?" I prodded him.**

**"If you mean did I meet someone, no. That would not have happened. I have only had eyes for you Bella. No one could ever take your place for me." He softly whispered in my ear. "But I also finished high school and trained at a local custom bike shop." He grinned with pride. "I have a huge client list that I build custom bikes for. My business is expanding more each day as my clients advertise for me by word of mouth. I believe it is your fault for getting me started building bikes."**

**"Oh, Jake, you always were talented when it comes to building cars and bikes. You have a natural talent for it." I added, glad that he had not found someone else in Texas.**

Since sleep escaped us both, we ended up talking the rest of the morning. Around 7:00 a.m. I reluctantly extricated myself from Jacob's arms and went into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. Charlie was already in there poking through the cabinets. He had assembled the ingredients for pancakes. "I'll take over from here Dad." I smiled at his feeble attempts. "I swear I don't know how you survived all this time alone." 

"I make do, Bells." Charlie protested. "Besides, Sue has been giving me some lessons and my culinary skills are improving."

"No more lumpy spaghetti?" I giggled.

"No more lumpy spaghetti." Charlie stated proudly.

"And to prove it to you, I will fix your breakfast today." Charlie stated matter of factly. "After all, today is your graduation day. You go on out and visit with Jacob. I can't imagine you and he have covered all four years yet." He took the bowl from my hand and began to whip up the pancakes. "Go on." He urged.

"If you insist." I eyed him incredulously as I turned to walk out on the deck. 

Jake was staring at the neighbor's house as I walked out. "So, do you ever see any vampires?" Jacob asked somewhat nonchalantly. 

I turned to face him and caught of glimpse of my neighbor in the window, but he moved so quickly it was only a blur. He had moved in shortly after I came here, but he was mainly a recluse. I had never seen him and never met him. For that matter, I wasn't even sure it was a man. I only caught glimpses of where he used to be in the windows or the curtain ruffling. It was really creepy.

"No." I shivered. "I haven't seen any of the Cullens in four years. I really don't understand what happened, but after you ran off, Edward left me again. His family left at the same time and they have never returned. I didn't want to put Charlie and Renee through that again, so I decided not to have a nervous breakdown this time." I wasn't sure you could consciously make that decision, but I had lived through it once before and I was stronger this time. "Besides, you know vampires can't go out in the sun, they sparkle and it creates too much attention. You won't find any vampires here." 

Jake glanced at the neighbor's house again running his hand through his long hair. He looked as though he was going through some inner turmoil. "Bella." He began, a cloud hanging over his countenance. "Let's take a walk."

"Okay." I smiled up at him. "Jake, have I told you how happy I am that you are here?"

His brooding expression changed and the sunshine came out again. He felt for my hand and pulled me down the steps to the beach. "Yes you have. Thanks for reminding me. I needed that." 

We walked out onto the sand which wasn't too warm yet at this early hour. The sun had just began it's ascent on the horizon and the color display was dazzling. "I can never get used to the sunrise here." I breathed as the sun worked its magic on the beautiful morning sky, like Jacob worked his magic on me.

Jacob looked at me shyly and pulled me to him. With the sunrise behind him, I was dazzled by his rugged, dark good looks. His smile was brighter than the sunrise and even warmer. He pulled me into his waiting arms and trailed kisses up and down my neck. My skin began to burn from the fire as our lips met and I returned his kiss. 

The sun continued to rise in the east just as my love for Jacob continued to grow.

Graduation went off without a hitch. I received my diploma and went home to have a celebration. Not being one for parties, I just wanted a quiet evening at home with my family. Charlie, Renee and Phil had other plans. Being Saturday night, they wanted to take me to a place down on the beach. 

It was a casual dining place that served great seafood and I had to give in. The three outer walls were open and facing the beach, while the backside was closed off to house the kitchen area. The floors were wood planks that reminded me of an old pirate ship. Various cheesy pirate decorations hung from the beams that supported the roof. The place smelled of salt and sea. The pirate theme carried to the waiters and waitresses. Our waiter was dressed like Johnny Depp in _Pirates of the Caribbean_and he did a good job of pulling off the accent.

After dinner, Jake was intently describing a place he had once visited like this when my hallucinations began again. Across the room at the edge of the light on the beach stood Edward. I felt the blood drain from my face. I leaned over and cupped my head in my hands. _Breathe, Bella. What had I done to bring on the hallucinations now? Had it been Jake's questions about vampires this morning?_ I looked up and the hallucination was gone. As a matter of fact, the delusion had been so fleeting I wondered that I had really seen anything at all.

Renee noticed my pallor. "Bella? Are you all right, honey?" She asked concerned. She immediately arose and came around behind my chair. "What's wrong?"

I waived her back to her chair. "I'm okay, Mom, really. It must be all the excitement of graduation." I took my soft drink glass and pressed it to my face. 

"No, you are not okay, Bella." She leaned over and wiped my forehead. "You are broke out in a cold sweat."

"Mom, really, I'm fine." I took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to ward off the dizziness and blackness that threatened to engulf me. 

Jake looked at me with concern and took my hand. "Do you want to take a walk and get some fresh air?"

"I think that is exactly what I need." I replied as Jacob helped me stand. Taking great care not to stumble, I avoided the place where the Edward hallucination had been. As we walked out to the shoreline, I breathed in a couple of deep gulps of fresh sea air. I took off my shoes and began wading in the surf. Jacob followed suit. We walked in silence for a few minutes. I was enjoying the breeze, the cool feel of the water on my feet and legs and the warmth of Jacob's arm around my waist.

Then Jacob's deep voice cut through my thoughts. "Are you feeling better?" He asked as he pulled me closer to him. 

"I am." I replied truthfully as I hugged him closer.

"Bella," Jacob began hesitantly. "I have been thinking about the future. Jacksonville is a beautiful place and I think I might like to look around and try to find a garage to house my custom bike shop here." He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "What do you think about that?"

"I think that would be a wonderful idea." I gushed nearly falling in the water as I danced around in excitement. I stopped in front of him. "There is an empty garage close to the elementary school where I have been working. It's not far from here. It has two bay doors and the pumps have been removed. I could help you clean it up and paint it. Why don't we go check it out this week?" As usual, my selfish side was excited at the prospect of my personal sunshine becoming a permanent fixture.

"That sounds promising." He replied thoughtfully as he pulled me back next to him and we continued walking. "Is there a realtor's sign or an owner's telephone number?"

"I can't be sure. It has been empty for quite some time." In my exuberance, I stubbed my toe on a seashell and bent to pick it up.

"We can go tomorrow if you like. My studies are through and I am off for the summer, so I am pretty well free for a while." 

"Sounds like a date." Jacob said. "But I think we need to get back to the restaurant now or we may be in for a long walk home." With that he pulled me gently around back towards the restaurant. I stubbornly stopped, reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. Dropping the seashell, I entwined my fingers in his long black hair and pulled myself up as far as I could go on my tip toes. I leaned in and kissed my Jacob. His surprise was soon forgotten as he met my passion with his own. He gently pulled away and wrapped his arm around my waist again, leading me back to the restaurant. Jacob seemed to be smiling smugly to himself and I could almost feel him gloating, but that didn't make sense did it?

**Okay, that's the next chapter. I can actually write faster when I get reviews or encouragement. So let me know what you think.**


	5. Forever Broken

Forever Broken

Forever Broken

**The characters don't belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks Stephenie, you are the greatest.**

The following week was a blur. Jacob and I spent all our time together. I took Jacob on a tour of Jacksonville. We took long walks on the beach talking for hours. We talked about our time together in Forks and LaPush. We talked about his life in Texas and mine in Jacksonville. We even talked about the future. 

One evening, it was such a beautiful night so we decided to build a fire on the beach. We got some wood from Phil's wood pile and within minutes we had a nice roaring fire. I got a couple packs of hotdogs out of the freezer and before long we were roasting them over the open fire. It reminded me of the wolf soirees in LaPush. Our easy banter had continued this evening.

"Well, Jacob, are you going to amaze me tonight with your cow eating trick." I laughed as I put another hotdog on a stick and held it over the fire.

"That is right; you slept through the last one." He laughed.

"I saw how many hotdogs you ate that night Jake, I don't think I slept through anything." I threw him the hotdog I had just roasted and he easily caught it. One of his skills as a wolf was that he was always graceful. I looked at him with disgust.

He finished the one I threw him as I began roasting another one. "No cow eating tonight, Bella. I think I am getting close to my limit." He patted his stomach and cringed in mock pain. 

"Oh, puhlease Jake, you have nearly eaten a cow tonight!" I rolled my eyes at him. 

He began to laugh then grabbed his stomach in real pain. "I think you may be right." Our laughter echoed up the beach. 

Charlie, who was standing on the deck called down to us. "Hey kids. Roasting hotdogs?" He asked.

"Yeah dad, come on down and have some with us. I just roasted one." I called back.

"That sounds pretty good." He said as he headed down the steps and over to us. He sat down beside me and continued. "We had a couple at the game, but there is nothing like the taste of a hot dog roasted over an open fire." He took the stick from my hand and assembled himself a hotdog. 

I began roasting another hotdog. I really wasn't hungry any longer, but dad or the bottomless pit might want another one. A cool breeze was blowing my hair around my face and in my eyes. I whipped my head around to get the hair out of my eyes when something triggered another hallucination. There stood Edward, so beautiful, yet his eyes were filled with sadness. And then suddenly he was gone. I dropped my hotdog in the fire and began to hyperventilate.

"Bella." Jake jumped up in concern. "Are you okay?" As he came around the fire to me, I tried to calm my breathing. Dad began fumbling for his cell phone.

_Breathe! Slow, calm breaths._ I coached myself. What was wrong with me? I wasn't doing anything dangerous. The only thing I was doing different was spending time with Jacob. That never brought on the hallucinations before, unless Jacob became angry or upset. Clearly, I was losing my mind. I had to get a grip on myself. "I am okay Jacob. No Dad, don't call anyone. I think I just got some sand or something in my windpipe." With that I jumped up and ran toward the house. 

On the deck, I looked back out over the beach. Dad and Jacob were cleaning up the remains of our picnic and dousing the fire. Jacob seemed to have his hackles in the air. He stood up then, looking down the beach. His nose was turned up as if he smelled something disgusting. The air smelled perfectly fine to me. Jacob walked down the beach and out of sight as I turned and walked into the house.

Between outings, we fit in time to go check out the garage I had mentioned to Jacob. We made an appointment with the owner to tour the inside. It entered into a nice reception area that was large enough to display Jacob's own bike, along with a waiting area for customers. Back behind the receptionist area was a hallway that led to the bathrooms. To the left was the garage area with two large bay doors. We thought it was perfect. Jacob's custom bike business had been so successful he was able to place a sizeable down payment on the garage. 

Once the papers were signed, Jacob and I began scrubbing, cleaning and painting. Of course, Jake wanted everything battleship gray, but I finally talked him into a splash of color in the reception area. I thought a warm yellow would be perfect. We placed a black leather sofa against the wall with a side table next to it. On the table I placed a few current motorcycle magazines. A plant on the other side pulled it all together. 

On the wall I had made a photograph display of several of the

bikes Jacob had built. It was impressive; he really was good at what he did. Outside above the door hung the sign, **"Black's Custom Bikes"**. The entire garage looked like a trendy hangout instead of a custom bike

shop. 

Jacob had his inventory and bikes shipped to Jacksonville and he had already begun working on his bikes that week. Since, I was off for break, I didn't have anything to do so I hung out at the garage with him to answer the telephone and emails and sometimes, just to watch him work. 

He really was amazing. The bike he was working on now was beautiful. It was a sexy black with hot pink flames. It was lightweight and low to the ground. It reminded me a lot of his bike, but more feminine.

He caught me staring. He placed the wrench he had been using on the floor and addressed me. "Bells, let's go somewhere special tonight. We need to talk."

"Okay." I agreed. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Can we please just discuss it over dinner?" He smiled to lessen the severity of his words. "I have made reservations at _Pastiche_. Will that be okay with you?"

"Sure." I raised my eyebrow at that. Pastiche is not only an

extremely romantic French restaurant, it was slightly expensive. But if that was what Jake wanted it was fine with me. "It's a date." I said. "I think I am going to head on over to the apartment. You can find your way back can't you?""

"Sure, sure." Jacob said. He had already resumed his work on the bike and answered without looking up at me. "I'll head that way in a few minutes. I just want to finish this."

With that, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. He paused for a moment surprised, then grabbed my face with his grease covered hands and kissed me full on the lips. "Jake." I protested. "You are getting me dirty." I stomped out of the room as he chuckled something about girls only stomping on TV.

Later that evening, I walked out of the bedroom in my best bright blue dress. This was the color that accentuated my skin, hair and eyes. I bent to slip on my matching dressy sandals. Not much change there, I would always prefer a low heel. 

Jacob walked out of the spare bedroom very nicely dressed in black trousers, a white dress shirt and a blue tie. He looked at me and whistled appreciatively. "Wow. You look good enough to eat."

I rolled my eyes. "I've never heard that one before. Oops. Did I say that out loud?" I grabbed my mouth and giggled. 

"Yes you did and that's not funny." He pulled me against him and kissed my hair.

"Sorry." I muttered. "You sure do clean up nice." I changed the subject as I admired him. The white shirt barely disguised and only accentuated the hard muscles beneath. "I'll be the envy of everyone at the _Pastiche_." 

Jacob picked up my black shawl and draped it over my shoulders. "No, I will be the envy of everyone there. Come on, let's go." He put his jacket on and patted the pocket as if searching for something. He smiled and took my hand as we walked out the door.

We arrived at the _Pastiche_ in record time. I had never eaten here, but I had heard it was nice. As the waiter led us to the patio, I could see that it had lush foliage and beautiful flowers that created a romantic backdrop. We walked down a quiet and secluded pathway to a solitary table. "Here you are. My name is Adam and I will be your waiter for this evening." He advised as he seated us. "What can I get you and the lady, sir?" 

I was still drinking in the atmosphere when the tinkling of piano music began. "What do you want to order, Bella?" Jacob asked.

I looked at the menu and asked for the first thing I came to. "I'll have the steak and salad, with ice water to drink." I laid down the menu and resumed my perusal of the restaurant. 

"Two steak and salad, well done, with ice water to drink." Jacob told the waiter. 

"Thank you sir. I'll be right back with your drinks." The waiter turned and left the table.

"This is a really nice place." Jacob began. "I asked Renee to recommend a good restaurant to take you to discuss something special. She was definitely right about this place." He said as he looked around our romantic and gorgeous surroundings. 

I leaned over to a nearby flower and gently smelled the wonderful fragrance. The piano was softly playing a song that was intricate and beautiful. But at Jacob's words, my eyes were drawn nervously to his face. "Discuss something special? What do you want to discuss?" I asked in a tiny voice.

Our body language had become intimate as I had leaned towards him and he had leaned towards me. He spoke almost in a whisper. "Bella, we have loved each other a long time." He began but was interrupted by the waiter with our ice water. After the waiter left, Jacob began to play with his water glass. "We've loved each other for more than four years." He continued. "I know there is a lot of baggage between us, but you know you are the only one for me. We have had a great time together this week and I don't want it to end. I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you and I think I make you happy." I smiled at him and nodded in agreement. Yes, he did make me happy I thought to myself. 

At my encouragement, he knelt down beside my chair and took a tiny black box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a beautiful solitaire diamond ring set in white gold. "Bella Marie Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife."

Hesitating only a moment, I answered. "Yes." I stretched out my hand so he could place the ring on my finger. "I love you, Jake. But there is something you need to understand first." I opened my mouth to continue, but paused to consider what my next words might do to my future – our future. 

I had learned that I could live without Edward or Jacob, but did I want to? No one was making me choose between them because Edward wasn't in the picture any longer. He had taken himself out. And though I still love him more than life itself, it isn't enough for him. The truth of the matter is that I love Jacob too, with my entire being. He does make me happy and whole again and it is enough. I deserve to be happy don't I? I can make Jacob happy too. But in order for me to accept Jacob's proposal, he had to understand that there was this intrinsic part of me that was broken and would remain so forever. If he could accept me under these terms, I planned to become his wife.


	6. La Push Wedding

LaPush Wedding

**The characters are Stephenie's, not mine. **

LaPush Wedding

It was the most lavish wedding LaPush had ever seen. Renee had hired a wedding planner and had spared no expense. The actual ceremony was to take place on First Beach with the surf crashing and whales breaching just offshore. Just up from the ceremony site were tents with hundreds of seats for our family and friends. Caterers were scurrying back and forth tending to the food. A beautiful whale ice sculpture sat prominently in the middle of the large buffet table.

A musician's stage with a floor for dancing was just up the beach. Hundreds of flowers surrounded the entire area. The breeze was heavy with the smell of sea, salt and flowers.

My heart was racing as Charlie walked me down the aisle. My wedding gown was old fashioned with antique lace and seed pearls adorning the bodice while the train went on forever. Jacob stood next to the preacher under a trellis filled with white roses. Next to him stood his best man Quil and his groomsmen, Embry and Sam. Across from them stood Angela, my maid of honor with Emily and Leah my bridesmaids. Since Charlie and Sue had set a date for their wedding, Leah would soon be my stepsister, so I wanted to include her in the wedding. Emily and Sam's three-year old daughter Irina was throwing flowers on the path before me. Billy, Rachael's five-year old son was the ring bearer, or was it Rebecca's son? I could never tell Jacob's twin sisters apart.

The preacher came to the part in the ceremony where he asked, "Who gives this woman in holy matrimony?" to which Charlie replied that he did and placed my hand in Jacobs. He smiled approvingly at me and kissed my cheek. He then went over and sat down next to Renee who was crying into a handkerchief. Phil was dutifully patting her hand on her other side. I turned to Jacob as the preacher began.

It truly was a magical ceremony. The day had turned out sunny and the ocean was as clear and breathtaking as the sky. Jacob and I were facing the ocean. While the surf crashed against the beach, the whales began to dance and breach in the background as if showing their approval. At that moment, time began to slow down and everyone started to move in slow motion.

I turned to look out at the wedding guests and to my horror, there sat Edward. He smiled that crooked smile I always loved. _Edward? Why are you here now?_ I wanted to scream. I looked at Jacob who was smiling at me. He was oblivious to Edward's presence. _Don't you know who is here? Can't you smell him?_ I wanted to scream, but the pain of my heartbreak was so intense I felt like I was going to pass out. The hole in my chest was ripping open. _Breathe!_ I commanded myself. _Breathe! _

It seemed like forever, but it was only a few minutes until the preacher said. "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Jacob raised my veil and gave me a short, sweet kiss. "It is my pleasure to present Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black." The preacher continued as if nothing were wrong, as if my heart weren't ripping from my chest. Jacob pulled me down the aisle as our guests followed us to the banquet, set up in our honor. Edward stood continuing to smile his crooked smile. _Oh! I thought to myself. I would love to wipe that silly grin from your face. How can you smile when you know how much pain you are causing me?_

Jacob and I somehow made it to the table with the cake. It really was a beautiful cake with five tiers, covered in white roses. Jacob and I cut the cake and fed each other a piece. I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing. Edward was here. Where had he gone? We sat down to eat. I am sure the food was marvelous, but I could do nothing more than push it around on the plate. Of course, Jacob was having the time of his life. We went through the toasting ceremony and soon the band began to play.

Jacob practically dragged me to the dance floor, while I protested the entire time. "Jacob. No, I can't dance!" I began tripping over his feet and mine. He gathered me in his arms, ignoring my protests and began to lead me in a slow dance. He twirled me while everyone gathered around the dance floor and began to laugh and point at the spectacle I was making. He continued to lead me through the torturous steps, smiling at me so sweetly. I tripped and fell. I looked up at Jacob with tears in my eyes, but it wasn't Jacob anymore, it was Edward and he was laughing at me.

Nothing was making sense any more. I jumped up and began to run toward the forest while the echo of his laughter followed me. My beautiful gown was being ripped to shreds by the limbs of the trees that begun to look like werewolf claws. My sobs were growing louder as I broke through to our meadow. I looked around in confusion.

It was there that I saw the beautiful russet wolf standing in attack stance facing Edward. Edward was crouched like a mountain lion ready to pounce. They began circling each other. Jacob would lunge forward and Edward would easily dodge, reading Jacob's mind he was always a step ahead. Their graceful dance continued and gradually increased in tempo until they were both just a blur of fury.

"No." I tried to scream, but I couldn't make a sound. I couldn't run to them to stop the fight, as my legs refused to cooperate and my feet wouldn't move. "Please stop." I begged as I collapsed on the ground in tears. Nevertheless, they ignored me and the fatal dance continued until suddenly it was over and the great russet wolf lay on the ground at my feet, dead.

"Jake!" I screamed as I sat up in bed. I was covered in sweat and my heart was racing. I couldn't breathe. "Jake! Jake!" I continued hysterically.

Jacob burst through the bedroom door. Ready to pounce, he quickly surveyed the room for intruders. Satisfied that no one was in the room, he ran to the bed beside me. "Bella, what's the matter? Are you hurt?"

I frantically wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into the bed as I began to sob. "Oh, Jake, it was a horrible nightmare." I continued to cry uncontrollably as Jacob wormed his way under the blanket and pulled me into his arms.

"Shush. It was only a nightmare. You are okay." He soothed as

he stroked my hair. "Try to go back to sleep. I will stay here with you tonight."

Exhausted from the ordeal of the nightmare, my sobbing subsided and I clung tightly to Jacob glad he was safe. "Jake?" I whispered sleepily.

"Yes." He stifled a yawn.

"No big wedding, okay?" I mumbled as I drifted back off to sleep.

"That's fine with me, Bells." He chuckled as he lay back on the pillow contentedly, but I was already past hearing.

**Okay, hope you liked it. Please leave a review-constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. **


	7. Imprinting & Soul Mates

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me.**

Imprinting & Soul mates

Our first night home in the apartment was bliss. Although the wedding ceremony was tiny and only included a few select family and friends, it was nice to be home. Since Renee and Phil were more mobile than Billy, we actually wed on First Beach at La Push. We honeymooned a couple of days in Seattle and then flew home.

I walked out onto the deck dressed in a gauzy robe. The sun was just setting in the west and lowering on the horizon. Jacob walked out on the deck. He gathered me in his arms and kissed my neck. Twilight was upon us, my favorite time of day. I noticed a glint of light reflecting from the neighbor's window. I jerked my head up and thought my hallucinations had returned. _Was that Edward in the window?"_

Jacob noticed my preoccupation. "What's wrong, Bells?"

"Did you see that?" I pointed to the neighbor's window.

"See what, baby?" He tried to distract me as he pulled me around and kissed my throat.

Although my husband was very distracting, I would not give up. "There, in the window, it was a strange glittering light." I continued almost hysterical. "There is something weird going on over there. For years, I see nothing but glimpses, but here lately the sightings have escalated and I could have sworn I saw Edward."

"Bella," Jacob gently shook her. "Don't get excited. It was probably the sun reflecting off the window. Please calm down." He pulled her to his arms and stroked her hair.

"Of course, you are right. I am sorry I overreacted. It's just I have been so on edge lately." I smiled up at him and reveled in the feeling of his strong body against mine, so protective and sweet.

I considered that I made a good decision when I consented to marry Jacob Black. He was hardworking, considerate and good, not to mention the fact that he was ruggedly handsome. He was a catch indeed. At the wedding, many Quileute girls were envious. Leah's disgust with love and weddings was never more apparent than that day. "What was up with Leah at the wedding?" I asked. "She nearly snarled at me three times."

"Give her a break Bella; she has lost love more than once?" Jacob's voice was husky with sorrow.

I looked at him quizzically. "More than once?"

"Yes. We talked about this before when I first returned." He looked at me in alarm. "What did you think I was talking about before when we were discussing Leah and her protectiveness?"

"I thought you had been commanded not to talk about something, you know that wolfy thing Sam does to you all." I stated still confused. "What were you talking about Jake?"

Jacob spun around and grabbed his head with his hands. "Bella. I thought you understood. If I had known you didn't, I would have made sure you knew before we got married."

I was beginning to get scared now. "What is it Jake? Tell me." I begged.

He turned to me and pulled me to the swing. He leaned close and kissed me. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too, Jake. Please tell me what is wrong. You are frightening me." I pleaded.

"Bells, Leah imprinted on me when she first became a wolf." He searched my face for what emotions he might find there.

"Leah imprinted on you? I don't understand Jake." I began to cry. "What have I done?" I had taken away Leah's last chance to become truly happy. Jacob was her soul mate and she was his.

"Bella, you have done nothing." He tried to comfort me. "I thought you had entered this marriage with your eyes open, knowing everything."

"But Jacob, that's not true, I have taken away her soul mate." I wailed in agony. My sunshine is Leah's soul mate. "I always thought about this happening, but I had never realized it had already happened. Have you imprinted on her? What are you feelings for her?"

"No, I did not imprint on Leah. It is hard to resist that level of commitment, but Bella I only have eyes for you. You are my only love." Jacob comforted me. "It's never been romantic between Leah and me, Bella. She was always trying to comfort me when I was hurting over you. However, her constant presence only made matters worse. I admit that there is a soft spot in my heart for her and I care about what happens to her, but I love you, Bells."

"How can you say you care about what happens to her when you know she is imprinted for life on you, my husband?" I began to cry even harder.

"I'm sorry, my sweet Bella, I never meant to hurt you and I don't want to hurt her either." Jacob's eyes pleaded. "Please don't let this stop you from loving me."

"I could never stop loving you, Jake. You are a part of my heart-inescapably." I promised him. "I just don't want Leah to be in the pain I am sure she is in."

"Hush my darling." Jacob cooed in my ear as he scooped me up in his arms. Walking through the French doors, he laid me gently on our bed. He began kissing my neck causing my breathing and heart rate to accelerate. His warm hands encircled my waist and pulled me on top of him. He continued his declaration of love to me as the sun sank into the sea.

Edward POV

"Edward, you don't look so good. Are you all right?" Alice eyed me suspiciously. "You have been here too long. I am glad you have come to your senses and you're going home with us."

I stood at the window facing Bella's apartment. I placed my hand on the window as if I could reach out and touch her. So many times, I have stood here and longed to reach and touch her. However, I have made sure she has been safe. I kept my promise and I have never left her side. I don't think she wants or needs me here any longer though. She now has Jacob.

"Edward, you know she would be with you right now. Why didn't you stop it? You could have at any time. She would have welcomed you with open arms at any time over the past four years." Alice chided.

"I know. But I want her to have a normal life." He choked out. "I have succeeded. It is all that matters to me. I love her too much to hurt her, to take away her soul. She loves him too and she is happy. He can protect her."

For the first time in my long life, I felt weak. I sank to the floor under the window, curled my legs up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. My body was racked with sobs from deep within so intense was my pain.

"Edward, I don't agree, but it is done now. Stop torturing yourself, I know you can hear everything they are saying, not to mention seeing it all in that dog's mind. Let's get your things together and get out of here." Alice turned to Jasper pleading with her eyes. Jasper moved forward and waves of calmness permeated the atmosphere.

"You are right, Alice. Thank you Jasper." Edward rose to his feet and turned to the bed. He put the last of his clothes in the suitcase and closed it.

He turned to have one more look out the window at Bella, who had walked out onto the deck dressed in a gauzy robe. "Be happy my only love." He whispered. The sun was beginning to lower and the rays were glancing off Edward's arm. Bella's head jerked up and she turned to face Edward. As always, I was just a few seconds faster than she was and I was gone.

I watched as Jacob walked out on the deck and began kissing Bella. "Just remember, Jacob, I will always be waiting in the wings." I whispered.

Jacob looked up at Edward and nodded. He resumed his conversation with Bella. Within a few minutes, he picked her up and carried her into the house.

Edward turned from the window. "Let's go home." He sounded weary as he picked up his bags and walked out the door. Alice and Jasper followed.

**This chapter is pivotal in my storyline. I hope you all are enjoying. I have the story planned out and I think EVERYONE will enjoy it. So please review. The more feedback I get, the more I am able to write. So if you like it, let me know. If you don't tell me why. Please everyone review. Give me at least 10 reviews for this chapter. Okay. Thanks for the comments, I enjoy reading them.**


	8. The Human Condition

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

**Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Holidays**

I was busily preparing dinner when Jacob came home from work. As usual, he was cheerfully whistling. He walked up behind me and cradled me in his warm arms while he stroked my protruding stomach. "I love you." He whispered as he kissed my neck lightly.

I turned to face him and encircled my arms around his neck. "I love you too." I kissed him and turned back to my work.

Jacob released me after one tight squeeze. "I am going to go shower and clean up. I'll be back to help you shortly." Resuming his whistling, he left the room.

It wasn't hard to prepare dinner. Jacob was just sweet like that. Every day after he cleaned up he always helped me set the table and then clean up afterwards. He wasn't the type of man who thought it was "woman's work".

Jacob returned and began pulling plates out of the cabinet to set the table. "How are you feeling today?" He asked.

I turned from the sink, my huge belly prominent. "I am a little tired." I admitted. "These two are true werewolves." I commented pointing at my tummy. "They have fought all day." I carried the bowl of vegetables to the table. Jacob picked up the plate of chicken, placed it on the table next to the rolls, and mashed potatoes.

"I am sorry you are tired. Why don't you let me clean up tonight and you go on to bed." He offered.

"I don't know. We need to discuss going home for Thanksgiving." I added.

"What's to discuss? We've cleared it with your doctor you are okay to fly. I am going to close the shop for a couple of weeks. I got us a room at that very nice bed and breakfast between La Push and Forks. Have I missed anything?" He leaned in and whispered to my tummy. "You guys behave in there." He reached over and patted my stomach again. "When momma's not happy, no one's happy." He grinned.

"I think that you have covered everything." I sighed. "Maybe I will take you up on letting you clean up. Simply breathing is a chore and I still have five months to go." After I finished eating, I took my plate to the sink and then kissed Jacob good night. "Renee is going to help me get everything packed tomorrow, but please try to come home a little early. Our flight leaves at 5:00 p.m. and I want to be on time."

"Sure. Sure." Jacob agreed as he began to clear the dishes.

I waddled to the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas. I carefully lay down on the bed and pulled the blankets up to my chin. My head had barely touched the pillow when I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Although the flight had taken a lot out of me, our holiday was going well. Since Charlie had married Sue Clearwater in August, we all gathered at Sue's for Thanksgiving. I had thought it would be awkward because of Leah, but she couldn't have been more kind. She had been away at college in Seattle and had brought a boyfriend home for the holiday. He was a tall, handsome Native American. He reminded me a lot of Jacob.

As always, dinners at La Push were vibrant and colorful. I can never get enough of the warmth and love that I feet when I am here. It is obvious that Charlie and Sue are happy. He looks at least ten years younger. I am glad he has finally found someone.

Charlie stood to cut the turkey. The table was loaded with delicious foods and desserts that Sue and Charlie had obviously worked on for hours. "Sue, I believe you have outdone yourself on this feast." Charlie bragged. "This turkey smells wonderful."

"Charlie Swan, you know I didn't do this alone." She blushed. "You are the best assistant chef a woman could have."

Charlie continued carving the turkey while Jacob and Billy talked about the bike shop. "I nearly worked day and night for the last month, but I managed to get all my orders complete before we closed the shop for the holidays." Jacob said. "I have already received a couple of internet orders, but I don't have to get started on them right away. That's the beauty of the internet and email, I can get my orders anywhere I can get an internet connection for my laptop."

"Technology never ceases to amaze me." Billy replied. "Perhaps you can show me how this works. When I visit, I could be of use in your shop."

Leah and her boyfriend were leaned in close to each other. It looked as though they were having a private conversation. The rest of us were just intent on eating.

I was passing a bowl of mashed potatoes across to Seth when a sickening sharp pain shot through my stomach. "Oh." I cried out softly as I grabbed my stomach.

Always sensitive to me, Jacob turned quickly. Noticing that I was holding my stomach, he laid his had on mine. "What's wrong Bella?"

I felt a warm oozing between my thighs and looked to see a huge blood stain on my slacks. The sickening smell of rust made my head spin and I clutched the table for support. "I don't know." I replied weakly. "There's a lot of blood."

Jacob jumped from the chair, knocking it into the other room where it crashed against a wall. "Blood? Where?" He began to examine me.

I tried to answer, but the noise in the room rose to a buzz and then began fading. I could feel myself falling to the floor.

"Heart rate 85. Blood pressure 100 over 65. Respirations normal." I could hear voices above me, people touching me. I couldn't quite remember why.

"Has the bleeding stopped?" An unfamiliar female voice asked.

"The bleeding appears to have stopped. But you had better call ahead and so they will have a surgical team ready just in case." The same male voice calling out my vitals replied.

"Forks ER, this is Sloan. We have a female patient, early twenties, in her second trimester with twins. Heart rate 85, blood pressure 100 over 65, respirations normal. Patient was sitting at dinner with family when she cried out in pain and passed out. There is evidence of bleeding, which seems to have stopped for the moment. Patient has not regained consciousness." The female voice continued. "Do you copy?"

"We copy, Sloan. We will contact the surgeon on call and have a team on standby." The nurse at Forks Memorial replied over the radio. "We will also contact the gynecologist on call. What is your ETA?"

"ETA 10 minutes." The voices continued.

"Jake?" I whispered hoarsely.

"I'm up here Bella. I won't leave you." He replied from the front of the ambulance. The EMTs looked at each other in amazement that he had heard my whisper. They had barely heard it.

"Are my babies okay?" I weakly asked.

"I listened to their heartbeats and so far they are alive." The female EMT comforted me. "Just relax and stay calm for them. Are you in pain?" I shook my head "no".

"Forks ER, this is Sloan. Female patient has regained some measure of consciousness and is talking. Patient further denies any pain."

"Copy Sloan. Update us of further changes. ER out." I heard the exchange as my mind closed itself and I drifted back into unconsciousness.

I woke up later that night in a hospital room. Jacob was asleep on the chair next to my bed. He looked very uncomfortable with his large frame spread across the tiny chair. With a monitor hooked up to my stomach, I could hear two tiny heartbeats. I caressed my stomach and cooed. "Mama's babies are okay." They responded immediately by giving me a good kick in the lung. "Ooo. I will get you back for that." I laughed, thankful at least that all seemed to be okay.

Jacob roused at the sound of my voice. "You are awake." He said. He came to my bedside and laid his hand on mine. "They said you in pre-term labor and totally exhausted. I am so sorry Bella; we should have stayed at home. I shouldn't have let you do all that packing." He continued with his rant until I placed my fingers against his lips.

"Jacob. You can't blame yourself. These things happen." I ran my fingers through his black hair. "What did the doctor say?"

"Well." He began. "Everything is fine. They think it was pre-term labor. Doctor's orders are complete bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. That includes no flying."

"No flying? What will we do?" I asked.

"Well, I have been thinking about that. We could rent an apartment here and I could work in Dad's garage temporarily. We could see how it works out and go from there." He finished. "What do you think?"

"Well, I guess it would be okay." I agreed. "You said yourself you could perform your work anywhere." I continued. "Mom's going to be disappointed. But she can come here and stay with me if she wants."

"If not, we can hire someone to take care of you through the day and I can take care of you through the night." He smiled wickedly at me.

"Jake." I blushed. "Well, we can make it work as long as we are together."

At that moment, Edward walked in, wearing a white coat.

"Oh crap!" I said. "Jake, get someone in here, I am having hallucinations!"

Edward was at my side in an instant. "What seems to be the problem, Bella?"

I eyed Jacob. "Are you going to get someone in here?"

He looked at me confused and then realization dawned. "Edward's not a hallucination Bella. He was the ER doctor here tonight. He took care of you when you first got here." Jacob continued. "Well, he actually diagnosed you. Then the gynecologist on call came in and took over."

"You examined me?" I looked at Edward accusingly. "You're not a doctor!"

"I am sorry to have surprised you, Mrs. Black." Edward continued stiffly. "Let me explain. You know I have been to medical school twice. I am a doctor and I am currently serving my residency here in the ER. Let me assure you that I didn't examine you in the sense you think I did. I have the same gifts as Carlisle wherein I can sense injuries and illnesses. Your blood is clear; there is nothing wrong with your infants. You experienced pre-term labor that we are trying to prevent. You are simply weak and need bed rest."

"You got all that from being in the same room with me?" I asked.

"Yes, however, the gynecologist, Dr. Mays confirmed." He answered. "I understand that you will be staying here in the area until the birth. You can follow up with Dr. Mays for your prenatal visits. She is one of the best in the area. You will be in good hands."

"Okay." Jacob agreed. "We will do that."

"Well, if there is nothing else. Good evening Mr. Black. Good evening Mrs. Black." With that, he whipped out of the room and was gone, leaving me breathless.

"Why didn't you warn me?" I asked.

"I wasn't sure you could handle it and I didn't expect him to show up in here." Jacob admitted.

"You could have at least told me that the Cullens were back in Forks. I know you had to have known that." I accused.

"Yes, I knew they were back. But I didn't think we would bump into them anywhere." He laughed. "But I should have known you would end up in the ER." He shook his head.

"Where is Charlie?" I asked.

"He and the others went home hours ago. He was very tired, Bells. I told him to go home that I would stay with you." He yawned and stretched.

"Jacob, I am perfectly fine. That chair is too small for you to comfortably sleep in and while I would gladly welcome you to my bed, I don't think we would both fit." I smiled at him. "Go home and get some sleep." I ordered. "I expect to see you back here early in the morning."

"Well, you are being well taken care of and all you need is rest." He agreed. "And that chair is very painful to sleep in. I promise I will be here early in the morning to get you." With that he kissed me to which I responded by pulling him to me. However, I was so tired, I limply let go and lay back on the bed. "Good night my sweet Bella." He cooed. "Good night my sweet babies." He spoke with his mouth pressed close to my tummy. He kissed me and walked to the door to leave. "I love you." He whispered before leaving.

"I love you too." I murmured and closed my eyes. I was already asleep.

It is dark as Jacob walked outside the hospital. As he approached his rental car, Edward came out of the shadows and grabbed him, slamming him against the car. Keeping his grip on Jacob's shirt collar, he growls low and feral. "We had an agreement, dog! You said you would take care of her. Here she is in the hospital weak, overworked and almost in pre-term labor. What were you thinking?"

Jacob threw Edward across the top of the car. Edward lunged back towards him; Jacob stepped to the side. Edward stood like a cat ready to attack.

"Listen bloodsucker, I am taking care of her." Jacob's clasped his trembling hands together in an effort to remain calm. Hurting Edward would only hurt Bella. His shape blurs in and out. "Are you thinking of Bella right now?" He shouted at Edward.

Edward immediately relaxed his stance. "I warned you that if she was ever in less than perfect condition in your care that I would kill you." He continued to glare.

"Edward, you wanted her to remain human." Jacob stated, continuing to struggle with his self-control. "This is a human condition. All humans pass through sickness and weakness. I am taking care of her, but she got sick. It happens to us humans."

Edward turned his back to Jacob and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I apologize for letting my anger get the best of me." He turned to Jacob. "You are correct; I wanted her to remain human. But I feel so helpless." He admitted.

"I understand. I feel helpless too. I don't know how to make this any easier on you, Edward, but I will continue to take care of Bella." Jacob declared. "You need to back off and let me do it."

"Yes, of course." Edward agreed. "But always remember, I will be there if she ever needs me."

"I am sorry, Edward. But she will never need you." Jacob avowed.

**Well that's another chapter. For those of you reviewing thanks. It helps me to write faster and I can pump out a chapter faster knowing you enjoy it. Your comments help me sometimes too. This chapter is for those who wanted a confrontation between Edward and Jacob and for those who want more Edward. ******


	9. Coming Home

I know, I know

_**I know, I know. It's all Stephenie Meyers.**_

With me on total bed rest, Jacob rented us a house in between La Push and Forks. It had a huge garage building out back that Jacob could use for his bike shop. Jacob takes care of me, the house, and the shop. The only thing he allows me to do is check internet and email orders.

As I was laying in bed reading fan fiction on the laptop, the front door closed. "Jake is that you?" I called out.

"Yeah. I'm going to get us some lunch. Are you hungry?" He called back.

"Yes." I answered.

I heard him banging around in the kitchen and then the microwave started up. Soon, he brought in a tray of soup and sandwiches. He placed the tray on the bed and sat down beside me. "How are you feeling?" He asked as he wolfed down his lunch.

"I'm ok." I said. "Jake, slow down. Are you in a hurry?"

"Sorry, Bells, I have so much to do in the garage." He stuffed the last of his sandwich in his mouth and finished his glass of milk. "Do you need anything before I go?"

"No, I'm fine." I answered. "What do we need to do to make your life a little easier?"

"It'll only be for a little while, Bells. Only until these little ones come into the world." He leaned in and kissed my tummy. Then he kissed me.

"Jake. If we sell the garage in Jacksonville, our money won't be as tight and you can hire someone to help you." I stated.

He sat there considering. "I have thought about that Bells, but I know how much you love it in Jacksonville."

"Jake, you said yourself you can build bikes anywhere." I reached up and stroked his back. "I love Jacksonville, but I love it here too. I won't mind moving here permanently if it helps ease your burden."

He sighed and I realized that I had just removed a huge burden from him. "Bells, call a real estate agent in Jacksonville and put the shop up for sale." He looked at me smiling and laid his long body out on the bed. "Then when it's sold, we can hire some movers to bring up our belongings from the apartment and the rest of my inventory from the garage."

"I'll call Renee and see if she and some of her friends can pack things up for us." I replied excitedly. I was glad to see Jacob relaxed.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door and in walked Charlie and Sue with several bags of groceries. "Bella?" Charlie called out as he walked through to the bedroom.

"Hey dad. Hi Sue." I greeted them. Jacob got up, took the bags from Sue, and took them to the kitchen. "Thanks, dad."

"Oh, you're welcome kiddo." He grinned. "Jake has so much on his plate that Sue and I thought we might do the shopping for him."

Sue walked over and sat at the edge of the bed. "You look flushed Bella, are you well?" She asked as she patted my hand.

"I am fine Sue. I think I am just excited." I replied. "Jake and I have decided to move here permanently."

"I am so glad, honey." Dad said. "Let me take these to the kitchen." He nodded towards the bags.

I continued talking to Sue. "Jake has it so hard and this will free up some money so he can hire someone to help him, either in the garage or in the house. I know you all help all the time and we appreciate it, but he will be able to slow down."

"That's good, Bella." Sue said. "I know your mother's in Jacksonville, but it is good to be surrounded by lots of family, like you and Jake will be here."

"Yes." I agreed.

With vampires back in Forks, the pack had begun to transform again. The pack number had not increased yet. Since Jake was in La Push again, he was part of the wolf pack. However, he stayed so busy with his family life right now, being a wolf was on the back burner. It was fortunate that he was a wolf though, because a normal man couldn't do all he did and live.

The garage had sold immediately and our things had arrived soon after. The members of Jake's pack made short work of the unpacking. He had hired Embry to help him in the bike shop. I think his business had experienced a lot of growth as he also hired a woman to come in through the day to cook our meals and clean up. She also looked after me. Jacob still came in and ate meals with me.

It was an unusually warm day in March and Jacob had carried me out to the swing on the patio. We had just begun our lunch when I felt a sickening pain in my stomach. I dropped my sandwich and cried out in pain. "Jake! Another pain." I said frantically.

Jake jumped up from the swing and scooped me into his arms. He took me inside and carefully sat me on the couch. He grabbed my robe and my suitcase, scooped me up again, and ran to the car. He gently placed me in the passenger side and buckled me. He raced to the driver's side and sped to the hospital.

The pains moved from my stomach to my back and increased in intensity. "Jake. I think I am in labor."

"It's not time yet, is it?" Jacob choked out.

"They are viable, Jake. They can live if they are born." I comforted him. The pain increased until I thought I could bear it no longer. Breathe, Bella. I coached myself. I tried to breathe through the pains. "Jake, breathing doesn't help." I looked at him confused and on the brink of hysteria.

"It's okay honey. Take deep breaths." He replied. "Bells, breathe."

"I am breathing!" I shouted at him.

"Take it easy honey." He began to pat my knee. It felt like someone was pounding on my knee and the sensation painfully jarred my entire body.

"Could you please not do that?" I snapped at him.

"Not do what, Bells." His tone began to take on a frightened tone, as though he were in the car with a monster far worse than a vampire or a werewolf.

"Do-not-pat-my-knee." I emphasized each word through gritted teeth. He quickly jerked his hand from my knee. The pain from the contraction was decreasing. My breathing became easier and I lay back on the seat trying to relax. "That one wasn't so bad." I said. Jacob eyed me in disbelief.

My stomach tightened and a second contraction began building. "Jake. These contractions are very close together." I was near hysteria again. "We need to get to a hospital NOW!" I shouted the last word as the pain had increased to the point I could bear it no more. "I WANT DRUGS TO DULL THIS PAIN, JACOB! CAN YOU HEAR ME? THIS IS YOUR FAULT, JACOB FLIPPING BLACK!" The pain had reached its peak and I didn't feel like it would ever end.

Jacob had cowered over to his side of the car as far as he could and still drive. "We are almost there, Bella." He whispered calmly.

I lay back on the seat trying to catch my breath when the next pain began to build. Fortunately, we had arrived at the ER. Jacob jumped out of the car, scooped me up, and ran inside. He was looking frantically from side to side as if trying to find a place to dump me and run.

A nurse standing nearby noticed my condition and asked, "Is she in labor?"

"Yes. Very much so." Jacob replied frantically.

The nurse retrieved a wheelchair from the corner and Jacob placed me in it. "Dad." The nurse addressed Jacob. "I am taking mom to labor and delivery. You get her signed in quickly and join us there."

Jacob sat down at registration with a relieved look in his eyes. I am sure he wasn't looking forward to what was to come any more than I was. However, we were both looking forward to the end result – our babies. The nurse nearly gave me whiplash as she spun me around and sprinted off.

Everyone had gathered at the nursery window to get a look at the newest edition to the Quileute tribe. Jacob had rolled me out to join everyone. I was exhausted and weak, but Jacob and I wanted to introduce our babies to our family and friends.

"Everyone." Jacob began. "Bella and I would like to introduce you all to our babies. This is Jacob William Black, II." He pointed to our russet skinned baby boy with long hair like his father.

"And this is Sarah Renee Black." I pointed to our daughter who looked identical to her brother with her russet skin tones and long black hair." A low buzz of conversation began with everyone talking and laughing about how beautiful they were. I was so exhausted I turned to Jacob and said, "Take me to my bed, please."

He turned my wheelchair and pushed me to my room. There he gently picked me up and placed me in the bed. He kissed my hair. "Are you okay?" He asked sweetly as he pulled the covers up on me.

My mood was not too improved. I rolled my eyes and thought about what I could say. However, I just kissed him back and rolled over to sleep. "I will be." I said. "I just need rest."

"I'm going out to admire our babies and visit with our friends and family." He said. "You sleep and I will be back later after you have rested."

"Okay." I mumbled as Jacob left.

I lay there trying to sleep, but I felt as though someone was in the room with me. I opened my eyes and was startled to see Edward. Already in a bad mood, I snapped. "What are you doing here?" I wanted to scream: _**What are you doing here now? It's too late. I am a married woman with children. Why didn't you come to me four years ago when I was in college in Jacksonville? Why did you even leave me to begin with? Why did you walk out on our wedding?**_ This was like pouring salt on the wounds that he had inflicted.

In my weakened state, I pulled my arms around my chest and hugged myself tight. The hole in my chest that was healed in the bright light of day was a gaping, seeping wound still just as fresh as it ever was here in the dark. Who was I trying to fool? I would never stop loving him no matter how long I lived. The truth left a bitter taste in my mouth. Tears formed in my eyes and I began to weep.

Edward reached his hand out as if to comfort me and then withdrew it. "I am sorry, Bella. I should not be here." He shrunk back in the shadows with the most pained expression I had ever seen and he was gone. It happened so quickly, I wondered if it happened at all or if it were simply delusions brought on by the pain medication.

Still clutching my chest, I cried myself to sleep.

**That's it. More Edward for you Edward lovers. Stay tuned, we are now coming to the pivotal part in the story. Read and review.**


	10. The Dark Day

I know, I know, It all belongs to Stephenie

**I know, I know, It all belongs to Stephenie. Well…all except for my **

**story line.**

Life with twins is never dull, especially at lunchtime. Five-year-old Jake and his precocious sister Sarah were just getting up from the table when Jacob walked in for his lunch. "Hey, Bells." He greeted me as he sat down at the table.

"How's work going?" I asked as I began to clear the twin's plates.

"It's going ok." He stared out the window, deep in thought.

I placed the dishes in the sink and began washing them.

"Listen, Bells, we need to talk." He reached up to play nervously with his hair.

I sat down next to him at the table. "What's up?" I asked casually.

"I don't know how to begin." His eyes were torture filled.

"Just say what you have to say and we'll deal with it." I stated.

"You know that Leah has been back for a couple of months now?" He began.

"Yes." I prodded him. Leah had been away to college and then she had tried city life for a while. She had recently come home and was still unmarried. "What about it?"

"Bells-I didn't realize-" he trailed off. "I don't know what has changed in me, but the pull of the imprinting is becoming difficult. There I have said it." He said firmly. Then he looked at me and his face crumbled.

The hole in my chest began to gape open and I hugged myself protectively. He noticed the gesture and realized its significance. He dropped his head while we sat there in silence.

"What does this mean, Jacob?" I asked softly. "I mean-I entered this marriage, not knowing that Leah had imprinted on you. So, it was in the back of my mind that one day you would imprint and leave me."

"No. No." Jacob grabbed my hand. "I have to admit, this has blind sided me. It is nearly impossible to endure that kind of commitment from someone and not give in to it." Jacob explained. "When I didn't see her everywhere, it wasn't hard. I see her now and she's not nagging anymore. She is kind and considerate - a good friend. Don't get me wrong, she has never been anything more than that. However, the pull is strong and I have tried to deny it, but I can't any longer. Not being so near to her. I love you so much, Bells. You have always been my only love; but what I feel for her is stronger. Does that make sense?"

I could tell our conversation was tormenting him and I knew exactly how he felt. Although my world seemed to be crumbling around me, I had to laugh. "I know exactly how you feel, Jacob. I love you more than you will ever know, but my feelings for Edward have always been stronger. I don't want to hurt you either, Jake, but I think Edward and I are soul mates, just as you and Leah are."

A myriad of emotions crossed Jacob's face, but the one that stayed was realization. "I think for the first time in my life I know exactly what you have been trying to tell me. I am sorry for coming in between you and Edward." He hung his head. "But I don't regret it. I don't regret loving you and or one moment of our life together. I wouldn't change a thing."

"I feel the same way." I said and I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair.

"I have a confession to make." Jacob said. "Please don't be angry with me."

"Okay." I stared at him, afraid of what his next words might be.

"That first week in Jacksonville, I realized that Edward was living next door to you." He admitted.

I stared at him in shock. My mind began to reel and I began to feel dizzy. I grabbed the table to steady myself. "What? I don't understand."

"I could smell vampires and I knew it was him." He confessed. "I caught glimpses of him in the window a couple of times, but I saw him on the beach that night we had the bonfire so I followed him."

"You followed him?" I echoed.

"When I caught up with him, we talked. He never left you, well at least not until we got married." He stated.

"He never left me?" I snapped out of my trance. "What do you mean? Yes, he did leave me. He left me the night you ran off and I never saw him again until that night at the hospital in Forks."

"Okay, just listen and try to understand. He told me everything." Jacob continued. "He always wanted you to remain human and he thought that I would have been the one you would have shared your life with had he not been in the picture. So, he left, but he didn't go far, just beyond the light. That's where he stayed the entire time."

"You mean he was there the entire time?" I asked and clutched my chest even tighter. I began to cry.

"He followed you to Jacksonville where he moved next door to your mother." Jacob continued. "That night on the beach, he told me what he had done and how he thought that we should be together. He told me to take care of you. I love you Bells and I was just selfish enough to go along with it. I almost told you he was there that first night, but you were so darned happy to have me there I thought it was enough."

"It is enough, Jacob." I told him, my tears stopped. "We have a good, happy life together."

"Yes we do and it is enough." He finished happily. "And you still have a heartbeat."

"So, where do we go from here?" I asked.

"Jacksonville." He said. "We move far away from Leah and Edward. We load up our belongings, our kids, move to the other side of the country, and stay there. I don't want to lose what we have."

"Yes." I agreed. "I don't want to lose what we have either. It is enough."

Jacob stood up smiling. "It feels good to get all that out in the open." He sighed. "Tonight when I am finished, we will make plans."

"That sounds good to me." I tiptoed and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Oh, remember, tomorrow's Saturday, the weather is supposed to be overcast, but no rain and we promised Jake and Sarah a picnic. So no work, okay?"

"I remember. No work. I am looking forward to it." He promised.

It turned out to be a beautiful day despite the weather. It was unseasonably warm. I had packed a light lunch and had it spread out in a beautiful meadow Jacob and I had found in the mountains. It was relatively close to La Push, and it wasn't a strenuous hike back to the car. We had just finished eating. Sarah and Jake were chasing a bird across the meadow, all the time laughing and giggling.

Jacob and I were leaned back on the blanket making plans for the move. The sky suddenly darkened and it began to mist. At that moment, the bird took a turn for the forest and Jake and Sarah followed it, their tiny black heads bobbing as they ran away from me and disappeared in the forest. Before I could call them back, I got a sickening feeling of déjà vu. This was the vision I had the day of the newborn wars.

Jake jumped up to chase after them. "Bells, I'll get the kids and meet you at the car. Can you get that okay?" He pointed to the remainder of our picnic.

"Sure. Sure." I said and began picking everything up as Jake disappeared into the forest.

He quickly found the twins and ran to the car to get them out of the rain that had picked up. So preoccupied with them, he didn't notice anything unusual until the wolf pack began rushing past him.

"What's going on?" He yelled as the wolves rushed by.

One of the wolves stopped and transformed. It was Seth Clearwater. "Vampires." He said gleefully.

Before Seth could transform and follow the pack, Jacob yelled, "Seth. Bella's in there. Stay with the kids, I'm going back." He jumped into the air and instantly phased into the wolf form charging through the woods to my rescue.

I was gathering up the remainder of our picnic when I was thrown to the blanket with such force that my breath was knocked out of me.

"Hello Bella." Jane smiled at me wickedly. "So good to see you again."

"Jane?" I choked out.

"Yes. Cauis has sent us to see if you are a vampire. I can see you are not." She stared at me intently turning her head from side to side with that ridiculously beautiful smile on her face. "I also see you are still immune to my powers. Never mind that, Cauis has ordered me to kill you if you have not complied with our rules. It is with great pleasure that I follow his instructions. Demetri, hold her down."

"With pleasure." Grinning, Demetri stalked over to where I lay and easily pinned me to the ground.

"It is my wish to inflict several bites upon you. The pain will be torture for you." She breathed excitedly. "But it will be delicious to me."

Demetri looked as though he was thoroughly enjoying my terrifying ordeal as Jane began biting my arms to inject the poison. "No!" I screamed as the fatal liquid entered my bloodstream and began to burn. "No!" I continued to scream. Next, Jane ripped my jeans exposing my legs. She began to bite, being careful not to drink from me yet. She wanted to torture me; she wanted me to feel the pain.

Jane's continued assault was overpowering. I continued to scream with agony, but Jane was relentless. I struggled uselessly and finally, I was free. I heard an eerie screeching sound like knives on metal. I opened my eyes and saw the wolf pack ripping Jane and Demetri to shreds. It was then that I mercifully lost consciousness.

Jacob, in the form of the great russet wolf, had just entered the clearing. I lay lifeless on the blanket. He phased back to human form and rushed to my side.

"Bella." He cried as he pulled my limp body to him. "I shouldn't have left you." He called to the wolves. "Someone get Dr. Cullen. Now!" He ordered.

One of the wolves separated itself from the carnage and disappeared in the trees.

I stirred. "Jake." I cried weakly.

"Shhhh. Be still, Bella. Leah went for Dr. Cullen." He was gently rocking me. "They will be back soon. You will be okay."

"Jacob." I began to scream. "Jacob! Jacob! Help me! Help me! It burns!" I began to thrash around. My arms and legs were covered in bites, blood oozing from each one. I felt as thought I were engulfed in flames. I began crying. "Jacob, what about Jake and Sarah? What are we going to do?"

"Bella, you are going to be fine." He said.

"Jacob, I am going to be a vampire." I continued yelling. "I know how this works. She injected me with so much venom even Carlisle can't save me. It is too much to remove without killing me. She wanted to torture me, but she sealed my fate as a vampire instead." I screamed.

The wolves, in their human forms, had gathered the pieces of the vampires in a pile and lit it. Flames danced greedily while a large purple cloud hung low over the meadow.

Edward and Carlisle ran out of the woods, followed by the rest of the family. Edward knelt beside me. He looked at Carlisle and dropped his head into his hands. "The venom is infused in her blood. There is no way to remove it without a transfusion and by then it would be too late."

He only confirmed what I already knew. My thrashing and screaming continued as I endured the worst kind of nightmare imaginable.

He looked over at the fire, with the flames licking hungrily. "Whoever did this wanted to inflict pain. This was unnecessary." He waved his hand indicating the bites covering most of me. "Carlisle, give me the bag. Let's give her some morphine. It may help with the pain." As he injected the medication, I could feel the fire cooling. I stopped thrashing about and curled up in a ball in Jacob's arms.

"Who did this Bella?" Edward's voice sounded far away.

"Jane and Demetri, on Caius's orders." I answered weakly.

"An unofficial order. Demetri tracked her here." Edward growled to Carlisle.

"It is fortunate the attack occurred here Edward, she might not have survived the attack elsewhere." Carlisle spoke quietly. "At least she will be a vampire and Caius can't order her death now. I think if we keep this quiet and try to avoid Italy, Aro may never know who killed Jane and Demetri."

"We need to stay close to the wolves and educate them about the Volturi to ensure their continued safety." Edward added.

Lying there, warm in Jacob's embrace, realization dawned that my life as I knew it was inescapably over. I began to cry just before everything went completely black.

**That's it! Some come on guys, throw me a bone' – review. If you like it let me know why. If you hate it, let me know why. Thanks.**


	11. Be Careful What You Wish For

I awoke in the dark

I awoke in the dark. My throat felt so dry. I was desperate for water. "Please give me water." I begged.

"Shhh. Bella, try to sleep it off. That will make it easier." Edward voice comforted me in the dark.

"Please. Give me some water." I pleaded. "It burns. I am on fire!" I could feel a pinch in my arm where he administered more morphine. Edward began to hum my lullaby. So long since I had heard it. It was beautiful. The burning began to ease. My head began to swirl again and darkness enveloped me.

Hours later coming out of the fog, I could still feel the intense thirst. The only thought in my head was that I needed water. Esme was sitting beside me in the darkness. "Hello dear. Are you feeling any better?" She enclosed my hand in hers. Funny how it didn't seem quite as cold as I imagined it would, but the coolness soothed my burning hand.

I swallowed hard. "Esme." I began. "I am so very thirsty. I need a drink of water. Can you please get me some water?"

"That's normal, Bella dear." She patted my hand in sympathy. "You really don't need or want water. That is your thirst. It will be better over time." Her voice was sympathetic.

All was perfectly still and quiet in my room. But the thirst was overpowering. The fire in me was increasing with intensity as the pain medication wore off and I became more aware. "Esme. Please help me." I said frantically. "The pain is everywhere." I began to sob. "It hurts. It hurts." Edward was at my side before I could utter another word. I felt the familiar pinch in my arm and the pain began to subside. I smiled my thanks as I drifted off into unconsciousness.

The next time I awoke, the pain was so intense I felt hundreds of needles sticking me all over my body. Edward was there and he caressed my cheek. He whispered quietly soothing words in my ear. He climbed into the bed, pulled me into his arms, and cradled me.

"Edward. Please. I can't stand it any longer." The pain was indescribable. It could not have hurt more if I were being burned alive. Edward gently rocked me as I screamed and writhed in pain. "Why aren't you giving me something for the pain?" I screamed at him.

"I did Bella, love. It isn't working this time." He whispered sadly. "Try to endure it. I will be here with you until it is over. I am so sorry. This would have been easier for you if I had done it myself, ten years ago." I was past hearing him anymore; the pain was so piercing I passed out.

Alice was there when I next resurfaced. I was sweating profusely. She dipped a towel in a pan of cold water and bathed my face and neck. The cool towel felt so good on my burning flesh. "How much longer, Alice?' I asked weakly.

"Not much longer Bella. You only have to endure a few more hours. It is almost over." She smiled at me. My thoughts were preoccupied with the all encompassing burning of my flesh from my bones. I was only lucid for a few moments before the intensity of the fire had to be drowned with morphine. During those few moments I had before the fire became unendurable, my thoughts turned to my children and my husband. "Alice. How are my children? How is Jake?"

"They are fine." She told me. "Of course, you know the rules. Your family and friends think a bear mauled you. Your closed-casket funeral is today. I am sorry, Bella."

If I could have cried, I would have. I had so much more to give up now. I had a life to give up. There was an ache in my heart more unbearable than the gaping hole that Edward had left. I had to give up my own children. They were not safe with me anymore. It was then that my physical needs overpowered my heartache and the fire consuming my body intensified. "Water." I begged. "Please. Put out the fire." No sooner said than done, Edward had reappeared and injected me with pain mediation. A wave of nausea hit and it pulled me under, back to oblivion where my heart and body could heal-by turning to stone.

I awoke alone in a dark, unfamiliar room. The fire had mercifully subsided. I had a terrible thirst.

I rose up from the bed and swung my feet to the floor. I stood cautiously, my head still swimming from the pain medication. I walked to the closet and opened it. My clothes hanging inside barely made a dent on the space in the closet. I pulled out a blouse and a pair of jeans. Stacked in the corner of the closet were several boxes containing my photo albums, scrapbooks, my well-worn copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and other miscellaneous things. I walked over to the dresser and found more of my things there. I took out a pair of underwear and a bra and walked into the adjacent bathroom. I checked in the cabinets and found my cosmetics, shampoo and other toiletries.

I looked in the mirror and my reflection startled me. My eyes were the same burgundy color I remember other non-vegan vampires. My skin was paler than normal with purplish rings under my eyes. The most startling change was how beautiful I looked. My natural looks seemed more refined and enhanced. I couldn't believe my reflection. Everything seemed fuller, more rounded, more feminine.

I turned on the water and leaned in to drink from the faucet. The water, which normally would have quenched my raging thirst was disgusting and I immediately began to vomit. The waves of nausea soon subsided and I dried my face.

I got in the shower and stood under the scalding hot water. The heat of the water relaxed my tight, cold muscles. I stood in the shower for what seemed like hours and washed the clammy sweat of the last three days from my body. Mercifully I couldn't remember much of my changing, except the unending pain. I remember Edward and Carlisle alternately coming in and giving me injections. It helped some, but I could still feel the burning fire shooting through my veins at times.

I got out of the shower and dried off. I was dressed quicker than I thought I was capable of and walked back to my bedroom taking my dirty things to the clothes hamper. I gazed out at the river through the glass wall that enclosed the back of the house.

I was aware of voices that I wouldn't have been able to hear normally. Whispers. Rosalie talking to Emmett about car repairs. Alice and Jasper quietly whispering about a vision she had just had. Esme and Carlisle discussing a patient Carlisle had taken care of today at the hospital. I didn't hear Edward's voice. Outside my door there was a presence. I don't know how I knew it, but I did. I took a deep breath and smelled the most intoxicatingly sweet smell. I knew that scent anywhere. It was Edward. Now in my enhanced state it was more overpowering than it used to be. The hole ached. I wrapped my arms around myself and then dropped them. I was determined that my life continued on my terms.

"Edward." I spoke his name softly. He was at my side almost before the last syllable left my lips. "Thank you for helping me." I addressed him without turning. "Was anything decided about my future between you and Jacob while I was out?" I asked pointedly.

"I take it he told you about our agreement." He looked ashamed.

"Yes." I replied sharply. It became perfectly still, as if a house full of vampires held their breath. "Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Edward. I am an adult and I am capable of making decisions for my life. Regardless of what you think is right or wrong for me. I should have been able to make informed choices about my future instead of being herded into a future that you and Jacob felt was best for me."

"I am sorry. I realize now that was wrong." He admitted. "After all I did to protect your soul, here we stand. You are a vampire."

"Yes, I am a vampire." I stated angrily. "It should have happened ten years ago, not now."

"You are right." He agreed. "Ten years ago, I should have changed you. I would have inflicted fewer bites and it would have been less painful for you."

"That isn't the only reason it should have happened ten years ago." I said. "But we'll have that conversation later."

I need to ask two things of you. First, I need you to take a message to Jake. And then we need to have a long overdue talk."

For the sake of my family, I needed to keep them safe. I really don't know what the future holds for me.


	12. New Day Dawning

They don't belong to me, they belong to Stephenie

They do not belong to me, they belong to Stephenie.

**Jacob,  
I miss you. Yeah, I know, it doesn't matter. I am hurt and confused right now, too. We both know that we are a danger to each other and the ones we love. You would be constantly on edge. You could be asleep one night, have a nightmare, and attack me. I don't know what the future holds, but our life together appears to be over. If you know of any solution to our problem, please tell me. Otherwise, I will know what your silence means. I know you love me Jacob. Kiss my babies for me.**

**Love, Bella**

After Jacob read, the note he tore it to shreds. With an agonized howl, he turned to his bike inventory behind him. When he had knocked everything off the shelves, he sank to the floor and sobbed deep, soul-piercing sobs. Thankfully, no one was in the shop and the kids were safely at Kindergarten. His life had changed quite dramatically since Bella's attack.

He was a walking zombie. He felt as though he had a fatal wound and no one could heal him. No one except Leah. She had inserted herself into his life from the minute Bella's attack occurred. She wasn't happy about what had happened to Bella, but she became Jacob's sounding board and confidant. It was nice to have her around to help with the kids, too. She made dinner, cleaned house and all those things Jacob couldn't do and work too. She quietly left after the kids were fed and the kitchen straightened. She hadn't asked for anything more than Jacob could give.

Still crying, Jacob took the shredded pieces of paper to the front desk and carefully taped them back together. This was the last thing he had from Bella and he wanted to treasure it. He blamed himself for the attack. If only he hadn't left her alone. Everyone told him it wasn't his fault. Edward said that if he and the children had been there, they would have all been killed.

After storing the letter in the safe, Jacob squared his shoulder and turned to the clean up ahead of him.

EDWARD HAD DELIVERED the tear-stained note to Jacob without waiting for a reply. Edward had more than his share of regrets in this long life, but the thing he regretted most was not marrying Bella and changing her years ago. Everything was so complicated now.

He had never believed in fate, but somehow they had come full circle. All the misery and pain they had both suffered was for nothing. Bella was a vampire. While he mourned for her losses, he was happy that she was a vampire. He was happy that she was finally less breakable. And, yes, even happy that he didn't have to be the one to take away her soul.

He cringed at the thought that his lovely, innocent Bella had now lost her soul. The thought didn't make sense. How could she lose her soul when she had done nothing wrong? Everything Carlisle had tried to tell him suddenly clicked into place. It wasn't where we found ourselves in life; it's how we choose to live. The fact that Edward had become a vampire through no choice of his own didn't damn his soul; it was the way in which he chose to lead his vampiric life that could. He might have to atone for those dark moments in his life when he had chosen to be judge and drank of humans who were murders or serial killers, but he had changed his natural ways and  
now only drank from animals. That had to count for something.

His thoughts turned to Bella. He needed to help Bella deal with her thirst and take her hunting. He tromped the gas pedal in his new Volvo, eager to get back home to Bella. Always Bella, the sole reason for his existence. Now that the note was delivered, he was anticipating being in the  
same room with her again. It was torture watching Bella suffer, but he had her back and he felt alive again. He felt like he was able to breathe again.

He had always admired her strength. She had faced so many things in her young life and managed to continue to smile and to love. At 28, as a vampire, she was even more beautiful than before. She didn't look a day over than 18, but she was definitely more mature. She had grown into a woman while he wasn't looking.

As he returned to Bella's suite of rooms, he raised his hand to knock but preempted by Bella's soft invitation to enter. He pushed open the door and found her staring at the collection of photographs that adorned her dresser. Most particularly, the family photo that Jacob had included when he packed her belongings. They hadn't decided anything about her future while she was out, but Jacob and he had a new understanding. Bella, no matter how loved she was by  
the Quileute, could not reside among them. The werewolves would forever be on the verge of morphing. They would never grow old with their families. Bella's place would be with Edward and the Cullens, as it should have been to begin with.

"Bella." He began.

"Before you say anything, I have something to say." Bella gracefully turned to him. "I have loved you from the day I met you and it has only increased with time." Edward started to speak, but she placed her fingers gently to his lips to stop him. Edward caught his breath at her touch. "Please let me finish." She spoke softly. "I don't know what the future holds at this point. I have a husband and children who cannot be around me now." She pulled her arms protectively around her. "One thing I do know is that I need help."

Edward reached for the hand at his lips, "Bella, my love." He said softly. "I have always loved you. There has never been anyone who has touched my heart, but you."

She looked as though she didn't believe his words. "If you loved me, why did you leave me?" Her eyes betrayed her heart wrenching pain.

"That was an act of stupidity." He hung his head. "Please forgive me. I thought you needed to experience life. I watched how you agonized over Jacob. I knew you loved him and I thought that he was the _natural_ path your life would have taken had I not interfered. I now know that was a mistake."

"I think you need to be patient with me, Edward." His name on her lips was like music. "Right now, I need your help. I need to understand what is going on with my body. I know it has only been a couple of hours since I changed, but I feel restless and I have this terrible thirst." She swallowed hard. "I guess you need to teach me how to hunt."

"Let's go hunting, then." Edward smiled. His thoughts were on what Bella had said. She was in mourning for the life she lost. Nevertheless, she still loved him and that had the seal of promise to it.

EDWARD DECIDED THAT the best thing for Bella was to take her away to the mountains to hunt, far from humans. Bella had balked when he had suggested she try a rabbit. As the furry little creature scurried away Edward asked, "What do you want to start with? A deer?" Edward sounded a little exasperated.

"No." Bella said stubbornly. "I want something less cuddly. Something I wouldn't see at a petting zoo. Something that would love to eat me too." She laughed. "Besides, the bunnies don't smell appetizing."

Edward found a mountain lion trail and they went off in search of it. It didn't take them long to find it. When Bella hung back reluctantly, Edward pounced and killed it. "Quick, Bella, come here." He encouraged. Bella came immediately, but when she looked at the poor dead animal, her senses were assaulted with the sickening smell of its blood. Her stomach knotted up and she felt nauseous. "I can't. You go ahead." She choked out. She sat down on a rock near Edward and placed her head between her knees. "I know this sounds ridiculous, but I can smell the rust and it makes me sick." She laid out flat on the rock, resting her cheek on the rock hoping that the coolness would help her feel better. Since it actually felt warm, it didn't help.

Edward quickly finished the mountain lion and came to sit at Bella's side. "Are you all right?" She nodded. "Didn't you feel thirsty?"

"I have this raging thirst that won't go away, but I couldn't get past the smell." She said weakly.

"Okay. Let's try it again." He suggested. "This time, don't breathe. Just drink."

"Okay." She agreed.

Edward began to track another mountain lion when he came upon a bear. This should satiate her thirst Edward thought to himself. He quickly killed the bear and Bella was at his side instantly.

Holding her breath, she leaned in and began to drink. After she was finished, she sat down. "Much better." She patted her stomach contentedly. She still hadn't breathed. Then she looked at Edward in shock. "Edward, will my aversion to blood render me unable to hunt? The smell makes me so sick I don't think I could even track an animal, not to mention kill one."

"I will always be here for you. Our entire family will." Edward promised. "We will never let you starve. Don't let it worry you, Bella love. Perhaps you can overcome it in time." Edward helped  
Bella to her feet. "Now that you are full, I will need to hunt. It takes more than one angry mountain lion to fill me."

They spent the entire weekend hunting and exploring. Without her clumsiness, Bella was able to have fun. During their trek, they came to a meadow. Bella lay down on the grass and closed her eyes. The suns warmth penetrated every fiber of her being and it felt amazing. The hum of the insects lulled her into an almost dream-like state. The stream that ran through the middle of the meadow sounded as if it were dancing. She took a deep breath and could smell the intoxicating nearness of Edward. Memories began to play in her mind of another time in another meadow.

Edward positioned himself next to Bella where he could watch her without disturbing her. He ached to kiss her neck as it shimmered invitingly in the sun. Instead, he began to trace lines on the palm of her hand, as she had once done to him. At first, she jumped, as if she might move her hand, but she remained. A hint of a smile touched her lips so that it was apparent she was enjoying the sensation. Edward didn't want to stop touching her. He had been so long without her, he felt like a man stranded in the desert and finally finding water. He knew what he needed and it was her-his soul mate.

Edward carefully leaned in and kissed the inside of her wrist. At that, she did jump and remove her arm. She got to her feet unsteadily. Without the telltale beating of her heart, he had no  
idea what she was thinking. "I am sorry." He said. "I guess I crossed the line."

"Edward, three days ago I was a married woman with children." The forlorn expression in her eyes broke his heart. "Now, I am so confused; I don't know what to do. You are my true love and you are finally here. But I don't know how to find my way back and still have respect for myself." She rubbed her tingling wrist and continued. "Are you ready to go?"

Edward nodded and they ran the several miles back to the car. He drove in silence, despising the fact that he couldn't read Bella's mind. She had been honest with him and he knew she still loved him, but could she get over the past enough to give him another chance?

Read and review.


	13. Dreams & Realities

The characters don't belong to me, even though I love them

**The characters don't belong to me, even though I love them. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

WHEN WE RETURNED from the weekend hunt, Edward was anxious to tell Carlisle about Bella's aversion to animal blood. They walked in Carlisle's office and found him at this desk pouring over one of his medical journals. One of the advantages to having Carlisle as you're your doctor was since he didn't need sleep, he was constantly honing his already superior medical skills.

"Carlisle." Edward interrupted his studies. "Bella and I need to talk to you."

He closed the book he was studying and looked at us both quizzically. "You have my undivided attention."

Edward told him about their first hunting excursion and Bella's aversion to the smell of animal blood. "What do you think?"

"Interesting." He rubbed his chin. "I know you haven't been around humans yet, Bella, but it might be a good idea if we took you somewhere to expose you to humans. We need to see what your reaction to the scent of human blood would be."

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Bella's eyes were filled with fear as she remembered Bree's violent reaction to her that day in the clearing so long ago. "But, what if I attack someone?"

"I agree with Carlisle. I think it would be a good idea. We can go somewhere remote." Edward suggested.

"I don't want to kill anyone." Bella refused. "I don't want to take any chances."

"Bella, I want you to trust me on this." Carlisle soothed her. "I have a theory."

"We will all go with you and ensure that you don't attack anyone." Edward continued. "Will that make it any easier for you?"

Bella looked back and forth between Carlisle and Edward. Finally, her eyes rested on Carlisle. "I do trust you." She conceded. "I trust all of you." She gazed at Edward.

"Good." Carlisle interjected. "I have obligations at the hospital, as I know you do too, Edward. But in a couple of months, it would be a good idea if we took some vacation time and took a trip to remote Alaska."

"Denali?" Edward asked nervously.

"Yes." Carlisle stated.

Edward nodded. "Denali."

IT ACTUALLY TOOK about six months before both Carlisle and Edward were able to take off any length of time. Alice reassured everyone, with a smirky smile, that although this trip would be a memorable one, there would be no trouble. Refusing to elaborate, the entire family packed in their cars and headed to Denali. It had been decided that they would stay the week with Tanya's family to test Carlisle's theory there. Bella was nervous about the prospect of testing her willpower as they began the 2,500-mile journey. Of course, with the speeds they drove, even with snow and ice, they made the trip in much less time than the 50 hours Mapquest® had predicted.

Carlisle and Esme drove their car while Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie all rode in Emmett's new jeep. That left Edward and Bella to ride in his car, alone. They drove separately as Edward  
promised Bella that if it got too intense for her, either being around humans or other vampires, he would take her somewhere private.

Although Denali had become a huge tourist attraction in late years, Tonya and her coven lived in a remote area. Under the guise of backpacking, they planned to hike the remote area and hunt. They hoped to come upon humans hiking as well. If Bella reacted too strongly, the plan is to take her back to Tanya's house and then home.

As the miles droned on, the hum of the tires on the pavement began to lull Bella. Her mind began to swirl and she found herself lying on the beach in La Push next to the driftwood tree where she and Jacob first met. The waves were lapping gently at her body. She sat up to find the great russet wolf running towards her. "Jacob!" she breathed, dizzy with happiness. The wolf skidded to a stop inches from her. His teeth barred, growling and snarling. As she recoiled in terror she screamed, "Jacob, it's me, Bella!"

The wolf morphed and before her sat Jacob. "I'm sorry Bella. I smelled vampire and the wolf took over, I just morphed." She lunged forward eagerly, wanting him to hold her, but he pulled back throwing his hand out to stop her. "That's not a good idea Bella. I can't be with you anymore. It's too dangerous. I might hurt you." His eyes were filled with the most terrible heart-wrenching sadness. He dropped his head as tears began to slide down his cheek.

Another wolf trotted down the beach and Bella recognized that it was Leah. She stopped and sniffed Bella, her brown wolf eyes full of sadness. She turned to Jacob and nudged his chin up. She turned from him and continued trotting down the beach. Jacob looked after her and back at Bella-torn. "I'm so sorry Bella, I'm not your future anymore. I'm just your memories." His voice echoed as he jumped into the air and morphed into the great russet wolf. He ran to join Leah. Side by side, they playfully walked up the beach together.

"Jacob." Bella began to cry. They didn't look back. The beach, underneath her, began to pitch and swirl. When everything stopped turning, she found herself in Edward's meadow. She fell limp into the fragrant grass and let the sun's warmth lick at me.

After a moment, she raised up to find Edward beside her, his skin shimmering in the sunlight. She laughed at the beauty that was Edward. He moved closer to encircle her in his arms. Even though her soul hungered for his touch, she hesitated.

"Bella." His eyes burned with emotion. "I love you so much. I am your future. Please don't make me wait." He had barely uttered the words when a beautiful strawberry blonde appeared. Instantly, Bella knew it was Tanya.

Taking no notice of Bella, the gorgeous blonde lithely slithered into Edward's arms and began to kiss him passionately. The meadow burst into flames with the heat of Tanya's seduction. Edward and Tanya seemed to be moving father and father away. Edward shot Bella a pleading glance. As she reached out to grab him, the couple evaporated before her eyes. Bella began shouting his name. "Edward! Edward! Don't leave me."

In the darkness that was left, she heard Tanya's triumphant laughter. "You waited too late, Bella." The laughter continued as Bella covered her ears and dropped to her knees. "You took too long to choose and now he is mine for eternity."

As the laughter continued echoing in Bella's ears, Alice appeared. "Choose quickly, Bella. You have to make a choice." She warned. "If you don't choose, a choice will be made for you and you will lose Edward forever." Alice vanished and Bella was left in the warm, sunny meadow all alone.

The meadow became a kaleidoscope of color as it all mixed together and disappeared.

Vaguely, Bella thought she heard Edward shouting her name from far away. She opened her eyes and found him crouched next to her with the door open. "Why are you yelling at me, Edward?"

He gathered Bella up into his arms. "Thank goodness." He was examining her as though she were sick. "I thought you were dead."

"Dead?" She looked around her confused. Carlisle was standing next to them, while everyone else was gathered behind him.

"You went into some kind of trance. I have been trying to wake you for more than ten minutes." He continued excitedly. "I can't find anything wrong with you. You are in perfect health, for a vampire." He spoke the last words with relief.

"I think I fell asleep." Bella stated hesitantly.

"Vampires don't sleep, Bella." Edward laughed.

"Well, that's the only explanation I have." Bella said stubbornly. She pulled out of his arms, insulted by his laughter. "I even dreamed."

Edward looked at Carlisle in amazement.

"Well, apparently, this vampire sleeps." Carlisle stated.

Relieved by Carlisle's diagnosis Bella asked, "Do you think this is a trait I brought over from my human life?"

"Maybe." Carlisle shrugged his shoulders.

Okay. I have a few more chapters nearly ready to go. Please review. I want to know what you guys are feeling about the story so far. I will post more after a few reviews. Thanks for all the reviews and comments, they are VERY appreciated.


	14. Decisions

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Decisions**

As the Cullens pulled into the newly plowed driveway, a beautiful strawberry blonde glided out onto the porch followed by several other vampires. When Bella saw her, she knew it was Tanya and she gasped. Edward immediately tensed. He had not told her the full extent of Tanya's charms. She was even more beautiful than Rosalie was.

Her honey eyes searched for and then located Edward. Bella noticed how possessively Tanya's eyes watched Edward as he opened the door for Bella. Tanya's gaze moved to Bella as if to size her up. She then seemed pleased with what she found there and turned her charms to Edward.

An odd feeling of jealousy, Bella knew she had no right to feel, overwhelmed her. Tanya almost flew to Edward, jumping into his arms. She smiled at Edward, her heart-shaped mouth, a warm invitation begging to be kissed. "Edward." She licked her lips provocatively. "I have missed you." When she batted her lashes at Edward, Bella's knees went weak. It was obvious where Edward had been spending his time. In an effort to regain her composure, she turned from the couple's happy reunion.

Bella was so preoccupied with her pain that she didn't see Edward seize Tanya's arms in an effort to restrain her. His hand shot out and effortlessly pulled the hastily retreating Bella back to his side. He knew he was taking chances, but he didn't want Bella to get the wrong impression. "It's good to see you and your family again Tanya." He greeted her politely.

Tanya pouted. "You've been gone too long Edward!" When she continued to paw at him, he skillfully manipulated Bella between them.

"Tanya, I would like you to meet Bella." He smiled. Tanya's eyes raked over Bella again. "Hello." She quipped dismissively and immediately turned back to Edward. Bella realized why  
Edward was reluctant to talk about Tanya before. No longer jealous, Bella became embarrassed for the poor girl who was blatantly throwing herself at him as he politely tried to ignore her.

Momentarily buffered from Tanya, Edward turned Bella to the others in the party and as all were  
introduced, they retreated into the house. Tanya continued her sickening display while everyone else chatted idly. Her impression of Tanya was that she was basically harmless. Tanya wasn't a bad person, but she wanted Edward.

Edward, on the other hand, looked very uncomfortable and gave the poor creature no encouragement. Bella, who had been tucked neatly under Edward's arm, began to chuckle softly under her breath at his predicament. Edward, hearing her light chuckle, gave her a look of mock indignation and reluctantly turned his attention back to Tanya. Bella began to get angry that Tanya was monopolizing Edward.

Mercifully, just when Bella thought it might be possible for a vampire to die by being talked to death, Edward cut Tanya short by standing up and pulling Bella with him. "Tanya, I don't want to be rude. I always enjoy catching up with you, but I need to take Bella hunting."

"Oh. I'll go with you." She purred. "I'll get our coats." She moved to the hall closet and began taking out their coats.

Bella shot Edward a look as she poked him in the side. "Tanya." Edward jumped in response. "Again, not wanting to hurt your feelings, but I want to have some alone time with Bella." He took  
their coats from Tanya, guiltily noticing her fallen face. He then turned to help Bella put on her coat. "Good night all. It will be awhile before we return. " He addressed Esme, but the message was for Tanya.

Out on the porch, Bella leaned up and pecked Edward on the cheek. "That was for saving me from an early death." Bella laughed and turned. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the view. The moonlight danced on the snow, leading your eyes to the huge mountains rising majestically in the distance. She giggled like a schoolgirl on a snow day. "I used to hate snow. But since I don't get cold anymore, I rather enjoy it." She beamed up at Edward. "Snowball fight?"

"Yes. But first, let me get us some gloves." He suggested. She nodded as he went back in the house and Bella waited on the porch admiring the view.

Tanya was still standing in the foyer looking dejected when Edward stepped back inside. "Oh, Edward. I knew you'd come back." Her words trailed off as she slung herself into his arms. Before he knew what happened, she pressed her lips to his. Stunned, he opened his mouth to  
protest. Tanya, thinking it an invitation, pressed the kiss even more deeply. She wound her arms so tightly around his neck, he was unable to free himself. She pulled her body against him.

Outside, Bella sighed and turned from the view. When she walked into the foyer, she saw Tanya pressed against Edward who was obviously struggling to free himself.

Like a flashback, the sickening vision or dream, she had on the drive up, replayed in her mind. _**Choose Bella or the choice will be made for you. **_She reflected on her family and how that was now her past. She thought of the last couple of months with Edward and his patience. Her new family, her new future. She didn't want to lose Edward; she never had wanted to lose him. Although it seemed like hours, it was only seconds before Bella knew what her decision would be.

Slowly, she turned and reached for the doorknob…and slammed the door shut. The sound startled Tanya who stopped her assault on Edward.

"Tanya." Bella's voice had a dangerous edge to it. Tanya reluctantly dragged her lips from Edward and looked at Bella as if she had two heads. "Let me make my intentions perfectly clear."

Edward stopped struggling as Tanya quickly released him and stepped away. He looked at Bella in stunned silence. The other room became eerily quiet. Listening from the other room, Alice looked knowingly at Jasper and the two just smiled at each other.

Bella's stance became feline as she possessively moved in front of Edward and continued. "I don't want to be rude, as I am a guest in your home, but I think you should know." She growled low in her chest. "I love Edward. I plan to be with him for eternity. Do not make the mistake of dismissing me. He is mine and if I catch you touching him again, I will rip you limb from limb." Edward smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist possessively. "Do we have an understanding?" Her clear voice was deadly. "If Edward wants you, then I won't stop him, but he doesn't, so back off."

With Bella's warning ringing in her ears, Tanya had no reply. She backed away and nodded.

"If you will excuse us, we are going hunting." Bella stated. Stomping her foot, she turned to walk out the door, with Edward right on her heels.

The shocked stillness and subsequent buzz of conversation followed them out as Tanya stood staring at the closing door.

"I NEVER HAVE been talked to by anyone like that before in my life!" Tanya was pacing the kitchen angrily.

"Well I don't know what you expected from her Tanya. You were hanging all over him from the minute he arrived." Irena accused. She had known Tanya for most of her vampiric life, so she had no qualms in telling her the truth. "And then caught him alone for one minute and tried to seduce him. Sometimes, I don't know why you do the things you do. You know, it didn't work on Edward the first hundred times; you might have tried a different approach. He is always so patient and polite to you, though I don't know why!"

Tanya's head snapped around as she uttered a low growl. "Can we please have this conversation later? I am trying to compose myself enough to go back in there and face Carlisle and Esme."

"I am not saying anything they aren't already thinking Tanya." Irena whispered wryly. "Why can't you get that into your thick skull? Leave Edward and Bella alone."

"I'll do that!" Tanya snapped. She realized she had crossed the line, but she was just so darn desperately in love with Edward. Edward was by far the most handsome vampire. She had to admit that it was useless to continue chasing him, or was it?

**Please don't forget to read and review. I live for reviews. I didn't want to leave 13 chapters on today, so I added 14. More to come. **


	15. This Kiss

They don't belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer

They don't belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 15 – The Kiss

ONCE BELLA GOT out the door, she ran. Edward was right behind her. He wanted to give her the space she needed, but also make sure she was okay. When he realized she wasn't going to stop anytime soon, he grabbed her into his arms. As they began to fall, Edward protectively  
swung them around so that he landed on his back with a loud thud. Bella landed on his hard, muscular chest.

"You know, my love, you are even more beautiful when you are jealous." He laughed softly against her hair.

Her mouth was open ready to hurl angry words at him about how his poor choices had left her reduced to this. She should be meeting Tanya as his wife. However, when she looked up at his  
golden eyes simmering with love and desire, she couldn't speak. It awakened in her a long dormant fire that could almost melt the snow around them. He pulled her closer and like a lost toddler, looking for its mother, she collapsed onto his chest sobbing.

"Bella. Love." He crooned. "Are you ok? I'm sorry. I didn't encourage her. You know that don't you."

"I know. I know." She said between sobs, her lips pressed against his hard chest. "Edward, I can't do this yet." She whispered. "But you are mine, you always have been and you always will be."

At that moment, Edward gently raised her face up to his to kiss her, tasting her. The kiss didn't last long, but the sweetness of the moment surrounded them with longing and made Bella ache. That memory of when their lips briefly met would last forever. It was the memory of coming home.

LATER AFTER BELLA and Edward returned to the house, everyone had retired to their rooms for the evening.

"I would invite you to my room to continue our conversation in private, but I don't think privacy is possible." She grimaced.

"Yes, privacy is possible." Edward grinned. "Most bedrooms in a vampire's house are sound proofed, even vampire sound proofed. That way you can have a place of solitude you can go to."

"But my suite of rooms at home isn't sound proof." Bella interjected. "I could hear all of you talking. I could hear you outside my door."

"That room wasn't sound proofed." He volunteered. "Carlisle had prepared it years ago for your changing. We wanted to be able to hear you every second of the day in case you needed us. He never fixed it. I guess he always hoped."

"Oh." She murmured surprised.

"We will get it sound proofed." Edward finished.

"Well, come up to my room and let's finish our conversation." Bella invited. They went in search of their rooms and found Bella's luggage in a room with a thick door connecting it to another suite  
that contained Edward's bags.

Edward grinned as he seated himself on the comfortable sofa and patted the seat next to him. Bella smiled coyly and curled up on the large overstuffed armchair on the other side of the coffee table.

At that moment there was a knock on the door. Bella opened it and was pleased to see Esme standing on the other side. "Oh good, you are both here." Esme breathed quietly. "I wanted to talk to you both. May I come in?"

"Of course, Esme, please come in." Bella took her hand as she walked into the room. They walked over to the couch were Edward was sitting and Esme seated herself across from him in the huge overstuffed armchair Bella had just vacated.

Edward grinned at Bella and patted the couch next to him. Laughingly, Bella snuggled up next to him.

Esme watching the play between them smiled happily. It had been a hard six months since Bella's change and she and Edward had been a long time getting comfortable with each other again. It made her mother's heart happy. "I was afraid that Tanya might have caused a rift  
between you two. I can see that it hasn't and I am glad."

"No need to worry." Edward advised. "We are talking through things." He lifted his eyebrows at Bella, questioningly. She nodded her head in agreement. "But that's not all that's on your mind, Esme?" He prodded, although Edward could read Esme's thoughts, Bella couldn't.

"No. I wanted to let you know Bella, that no one here holds any hard feelings for your standing up to Tanya." She reassured her. "I don't think Tanya does either. She really needed to be put  
in her place." Esme tried to stifle a laugh without success. Her laughter was so contagious that Bella and Edward joined her.

Another knock at the door proved to be Carlisle. As he entered the room, he seemed to drink in the warm atmosphere and his eyes roved tenderly to his wife. "There you are Esme, darling." He murmured gently.

"She was just easing my mind about the spectacle I made of myself earlier." Bella laughed again. "Please Carlisle, come in and join us." He came in and sat in the popular overstuffed chair while Esme repositioned herself half on the arm and half in his lap. Bella had never seen them so relaxed and intimate with each other. She was probably too preoccupied in the past with Edward and trying to stay alive.

The two couples sat there talking comfortably for hours. Soon the conversation turned to Carlisle's theory and the hiking trip they would start before dawn. "We will need to have everything ready and start out in about two hours." He checked his watch. "Irena said  
that there is a small hiking party camped about ten miles north. She ran across them while she was out hunting last night."

"If we leave before dawn, they will probably still be in their tents asleep." Edward said.

"That's right." Carlisle continued. "Bella will be exposed to the scent and we can gauge her reaction while they sleep. If her reaction is too strong, we can quickly subdue her. The only thing  
the hikers might hear is the growl of an animal."

"Are you sure you can keep me from attacking?" Bella asked fearfully.

"With us all there, the hikers will be perfectly safe." Esme leaned over and patted Bella's leg. "Let's get everyone ready."

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	16. A Unique Vampire

They belong to Stephenie Meyer

**They belong to ****Stephenie Meyer****  
**  
Chapter 16 – A Unique Vampire

BELLA STOPPED BREATHING the moment they stepped out the front door. It seemed like only minutes before they were upon the hiker's campsite. Six tents circled the smoking remains of a campfire. All was quiet, except the soft snores coming from the tents. It was obvious that the hikers were still sleeping.

As they crept nearer, Carlisle turned to the group. "Everyone knows what to do." He whispered. Edward hugged Bella's waist in a tight grip, while Alice and Jasper clutched her right arm and Esme and Emmett grabbed her left. Rosalie stood in the front so that Bella was tightly encircled. Carlisle watched carefully, "Go ahead and take a deep breath, Bella."

Bella inhaled deeply and regretted it the moment she did. The smell of human blood hit her like a hammer between the eyes. Like a wild animal, she lunged forward in an attempt to escape, but was unable. Her head began to spin and her stomach began to lurch as she collapsed limply in Edward's arms.

Edward swung Bella's lifeless body up in his arms and ran several miles away from the hikers. He found a dry boulder and sat down, gently cradling her in his arms. His panicked voice was  
ringing out in the stillness. "What happened Carlisle? What's wrong with her?"

Carlisle's expert senses roamed her body and found nothing wrong. "I think she just fainted." He concluded.

"Vampires don't faint." Edward yelled hysterically.

"Apparently, this one does. We have already discovered that Bella has unique traits she carried over. This must be one of them." Carlisle shook his head. "I think she is okay and will come around in a moment. We will have to wait and see. She did have a violent reaction to the scent of humans, though. I guess that theory was incorrect."

Esme was soothing Edward as he held Bella in his arms. "She is supposed to be less breakable." He said in a tiny voice.

It was then that Bella awoke. "What happened?"

"Carlisle thinks you fainted." Edward accused.

"I what?" Bella demanded as she tried to pull herself to her feet, but Edward's gentle arms held her. "Vampires don't faint."

"That's what I said." Edward's voice became more agitated.

"What did you feel when you smelled the humans, Bella?" Carlisle asked as he knelt down beside her again.

Bella shook her head. "It was terrible. I don't know how you bear it. The odor of their blood was  
so strong, I could taste the rust." She gagged at the memory and looked as though she might spit. "I just wanted to run away. I became nauseous and dizzy. But I couldn't escape the overpowering stench."

"So you passed out! Amazing! Do you all know what this means? Bella is truly a vegan vampire." Carlisle laughed excitedly.

Bella was elated. "I am?"

Edward looked at her as if she had just won the Nobel Peace Prize. "I am so happy you will never know what it is like to thirst for human blood."

"Well, let's not be too hasty." Carlisle interjected. "Remember, there are those whose blood sings for us vampires. Hopefully, that will never happen to Bella, but she will need to be prepared. It is still too dangerous for her to be around humans."

She rubbed her temples as a headache was beginning to develop. "From my violent aversion, I don't think I can even stand to be around humans."

"Are you all right?" Edward asked tenderly.

"My head hurts." Bella complained. "It feels like a migraine coming on."

"Let's get you back to the house." Edward picked her up easily. She didn't complain, she leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes. "It's to bed for you."

When they reached the house, Edward took Bella to her suite of rooms and laid her gently on the bed. He pulled the covers up and tucked her in. He turned to the windows and closed the blinds tightly so that no light could come through.

"You are an unusual vampire, my Bella." He smiled at her lovingly. "Just lay there and rest with your eyes closed. The migraine should go away shortly." He left Bella alone.

As Bella thought about the events of this morning, she wondered what else she had brought from her human life. There was the aversion to blood. Her ability to sleep and dream. She also  
brought with her the intense feelings she had for her family and loved ones. Her memories hadn't faded any either, but the pain of loss was decreasing. Perhaps she could treasure her memories in time. She rolled onto her side and continued massaging her temples.

Her thoughts drifted, her mind swirling with everything she learned. Suddenly, she found herself back at La Push running through the surf, splashing and playing. Jacob, in his great russet wolf form joined her. He didn't attack but his eyes were serious. She followed him. "What is it Jacob?" She asked. They ran down the beach and her feet stuck in the sand. She was unable to move. She began to sink as though in quicksand. Deeper and deeper in the sand she sank. "Help me! Help me!" She screamed, but Jacob was too far ahead and couldn't hear her.

As she struggled to free herself, she found herself in the clearing where the newborn wars had occurred. Still stuck in the quicksand, but unable to move. Her children, her dad, Sue, Billy and  
all her friends and family from La Push gathered in the clearing. Up the hill in front of them stood her Cullen family. Standing in a protective stance, as though ready to attack, she  
could feel the tension from them as they looked toward the far side of the clearing. In horror, Bella watched as a vast army of vampires in long grey cloaks began to descend upon the clearing. These were not newborns, but skilled warriors led by Caius.

"Carlisle, so happy to see you again." Caius mocked. "Shall I take your greetings to Aro?"

"Caius, this is totally unnecessary." Carlisle tried to reason. "Let's go to my house and talk this over."

Caius threw his head back in laughter and roared in answer. "Kill them all." He shouted. "Except her." His attention suddenly turned to Bella as he pointed.

The Cullens placed themselves in the line of attack to protect the humans. As she watched those she loved across the clearing facing this unbeatable force, she began to scream. The soldier vampires barred their teeth and began a slow torturous advance. "No!" She screamed. "It's me you want. Please just take me and leave them." She struggled futilely against the chains that held her fast.

Caius roared with laughter as he watched her feeble attempts to release herself. "I will take you little one, with me. You will pay for the things you have done." He turned back to watch his  
vampire army advance.

The great russet wolf was suddenly standing beside me again, but this time all the members of the pack joined him. They were eager for the fight, but they waited. The Cullens began a futile attempt to protect the people of La Push. It was then that Jacob and the other wolves jumped into the foray and began attacking and tossing vampires as though they were rag dolls.

The surprise of ten angry wolves wasn't enough and they were still outnumbered. The wolves, the humans, the Cullens were all being broken apart and killed. The metallic screeching of  
vampires flesh ripping apart reverberated along with the sound of human screams and the mournful howling of wolves. I couldn't bear to watch, I dropped my head still screaming. "Take me! Please leave them alone!"

As the vampire army continued its destruction, leaving a wake of carnage, Jacob began to morph and multiply until there were hundreds of wolves attacking the vampire soldiers. The new wolves weren't Quileute wolves; they were all black.

Caius screamed in anger as he watched his vampire army torn to shambles. Carlisle and the rest of the family, reprieved from fighting, began throwing the vampire pieces in a pile. The squirming mass of arms, legs, torsos, and heads was working toward putting itself back together when Alice lit the pile with a lighter. The mass caught quickly and a large purple cloud quickly rose over the clearing.

The vampire army began to retreat as the wolves continued to multiply and destroy. Cauis turned as if to run and was snapped up by the sharp teeth of a large black wolf. The wolf slung his head from side to side and broke Cauis into two pieces like a stick. He tossed the screaming vampire into the flames where he burst into flames the moment he landed.

Just as suddenly as the fight began, it was over, and Bella found herself back in Denali in bed. "Bella!" Edward was shaking her. "Are you okay?" He looked concerned. He walked to the door and called for Carlisle.

Carlisle seemed to materialize at the door.

"What's wrong, Edward?" She looked at him stunned. The light that had been streaming through the cracks in the blinds was gone, replaced by darkness. "Why is it dark outside?"

"I came in here to see if your headache was gone and found you passed out again or asleep. I have been trying to wake you up for the last fifteen minutes." Edward's voice had regained some his natural composure. "You have been in here all day by yourself."

Bella sat up in the bed. "The last memory I have is of you putting me to bed and then I had a dream." She looked at Carlisle and then at Edward wide eyed. "I don't understand. Did I go to sleep again?"

"Vampires don't sleep, Bella." He stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Apparently, I do." Bella said angrily. "I even dreamed."

They both looked at Carlisle for the answers. "I stand by my earlier diagnosis, she must be able to sleep or enter a trancelike state when she wants or when traumatized." He shrugged his shoulders and left leaving Bella and Edward stunned.

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews. Read and review if you want.**


	17. La Push Visit

They belong to Stephenie

**They belong to Stephenie**

Chapter 17 – La Push Visit

THE SKY WAS overcast in dear old Forks and Bella wanted to get out. It was a warm, breezy day without the sun to keep her in. Oh, how she missed Jacksonville and the luxury of the warmth of the sun on her skin. She missed Jacob, little Jake and Sarah. Before she  
could change her mind, she pulled on a huge hat and sunglasses. Being careful to hold her breath, she jumped in one of the cars and headed to La Push. All the werewolves knew the truth of her fate, so she didn't think she had to worry about them attacking.

She drove slowly by her house first. Her heart constricted painfully as she saw, in the distance, Leah and her kids out in the yard playing. Realizing the danger she could be putting her  
children in, she quickly sped away. If Leah had caught her scent, she could have morphed right there. _**Bella! You do some very stupid things sometimes.**_ That brief glimpse of her babies had been good though. They had grown so much. Of course they would have, it had been a year now since she had become a vampire.

It really hit home how domesticated Jacob and Leah must have become over the last year if Leah was there caring for their children. The piece of her heart that she had reserved for Jacob  
ached only a little now. Her memories were still fresh of walks on the beach at La Push, the day she had broke her hand punching Jacob, Jacob coming to Jacksonville and ultimately proposing. She didn't regret one minute of their life together. She would always treasure it. She wanted so desperately to move on, to allow her a small piece of happiness when she was so lost without her children, her husband.

She turned her car back towards Forks and was surprised to see Edward on the side of the road. She pulled over and picked him up.

"Bella." He chided her. "Do you know how foolish what you are doing is?" He slid into the driver's seat beside her not waiting for a reply. "What have you been doing?

"I drove past the house and saw my children." She admitted dejectedly. "As soon as I saw Leah with them I realized it was a stupid idea for me to have done this. I am sorry if I worried you."

Noticing the tenor of her voice, he decided to give her a break. "I am sorry Bella, my love."

Memories still came crashing back as she stared out the window at the ledge where she had taken her dive from the cliffs that day; the day that brought Edward back to her. They passed by the general store where Jacob and his friends loitered as teenagers before they found out that they were werewolves. She imagined little Jake standing there as a teenager.

The sun began to sink lower and lower in the sky, keeping up with her sinking heart. An overwhelming sense of loss permeated her being. Edward pulled over to the side of the road and pointed at the sinking sun. "Look, my love, it is twilight. It is our time of the day.

Wanting to ease her pain, Edward leaned to her and brushed his lips gently across hers. She gasped with pleasure at the fleeting kiss. Edward, taking advantage of that gasp, began to explore the sweetness of her mouth. He then traced the line of her jaw with his lips, moving to her neck. He breathed deeply. "Ah. Have I told you that you still smell good enough to eat? You have that same mouthwatering floral smell that I have always adored." His cool lips traveled back to her lips. This time the kiss wasn't fleeting, it was filled with years of love and want. There was no patience and he wasn't careful. It was pure fire and passion and it left them both gasping for air.

Afterwards, she looked into his eyes, dazzling him, making every nerve ending under his skin come alive. Edward exhaled raggedly and breathed against her lips, "Bella, I love you. Will you marry me?"

Edward's words struck Bella to her heart. Staring at him with wide eyes, she breathed. "I am already married." Then she pulled away and wrapped her arms around her chest protectively.

Edward sat up. "Well, the ceremony says til death do thee part'. Bella, your heart beats no longer. Technically, you are dead." He pointed out.

Bella considered his words and nodded. "I suppose you're right. But in my heart, I am still married." Bella was married to Jacob. They were both still living-sort of, so Bella couldn't just get married again. "I would feel like I was cheating." She stared dejectedly out the window. "I don't know how to fix this."

"Why don't we take a trip to Mexico and you can get one of those quickie divorces." Edward offered. "No one there has to know that you have a death certificate."

"I guess that would fix the only thing fixable." Bella nodded. "But, you should know that no matter how much I love you, I was committed to my marriage. So if there were a way to return to it, I would. I am not trying to hurt you Edward, but I made a promise and I intended to keep it when I made it."

"I understand." Edward said. "I wouldn't expect anything less." Bella turned from his pained expression. She wished things were differently. She had come to another crossroads in her life.  
She still loved two perfectly wonderful men and continued to hurt them both. It seemed that Jacob was destined to be the one left and nothing could change that fate.

She now understood the dream that she had before she and Jacob had married. Edward and Jacob had faced off in the clearing, and Jacob had been the one to lose the fight. Her life with Jacob had been doomed from the start.

"Edward. I think I have visions when I dream." She began hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" Edward pulled himself closer.

"Before I became a vampire, I had a lot of dreams and sometimes they came true." Bella continued. "Before Jacob and I married, I dreamed of our wedding, his and mine. In that dream, you and he faced off in a clearing and he lost. It almost feels like that was a foreshadowing of the way my life has turned out. He has lost in the end." She didn't want to tell him about the dream she had of him and Tanya.

"It may be another trait or gift from your human life that carried over." He admitted. "If it is similar to Alice's visions, it may come in handy." He ran his finger along her jaw line. "I do miss your blushes." His fingers continued to explore her face and traced the curve of her mouth.

"Edward." She spoke at last. "Let's go to Mexico. Tonight. We can follow that quickie divorce with a quickie wedding."

He smiled at her as he pulled out onto the road and tromped the gas pedal, making the Volvo nearly scream down the road. "Sounds like a plan. Let's go pack a bag and leave."

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	18. The Final Confrontation

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

**The characters belong to ****Stephenie Meyer******

Chapter 18 – Rumors of War  
  
As Edward pulled the car into the garage, he saw Alice waiting for them. Before he talked to her, he knew she had had a vision. He jumped lithely from the car as Alice's thoughts shouted at him.  
_**Edward, I had a vision. There has been an official order from **__**Italy**__**.  
**_  
"Tell me what you know." Edward demanded as he helped Bella from the car.

"Well, it seems that Caius went to Aro when Jane and Demetri went missing. I think he has withheld the truth from Aro, but he has accused us of murdering them." She spoke aloud for Bella's benefit. "I don't think Aro knows about Jane's order to kill Bella."

"A vision?" Bella asked.

Alice looked at Edward and then at Bella and nodded. "Caius will be leading an army of  
vampires."

At Alice's words, Bella's mind spun to the dream she had on their trip to Denali. Feeling weak, she sank back onto the hood of the car.

"When will they be here?" Edward continued.

"In three days they will arrive at the clearing where the newborn wars occurred." Alice answered looking even paler than before.

"I dreamed about it." Bella interjected weakly.

"What?" Alice and Edward said in unison.

"I dreamed about it, the confrontation that is, while we were in Denali." Bella shakily continued to describe her dream as they walked into the house and entered the living room.

"Where's Carlisle?" No sooner had Edward said the words, that Carlisle appeared.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked bluntly.

"I had a vision." Alice began again. By this time, the entire family was gathered. "The Volturi are sending an army to bring Edward and Bella to them alive. Caius is leading it and his intentions are that no one will be alive at the end, but he intends to torture Bella first." She glanced at Bella nervously. "As I can see his plans for Bella, she would be better off dead."

Bella sat down weakly on the sofa. Edward growled menacingly. "I had a dream about it." Bella added. Carlisle was aware of Bella's dreams as she had them on a regular basis.

After Bella described her dream, Carlisle turned to Alice. "Were you able to determine anything else from your vision?"

"No." Alice stated flatly.

"It must be because of Jane and Demetri's disappearance." Carlisle stated the obvious. "It would probably be better if we presented a united front. We don't need a confrontation. Maybe we could go see Aro. Perhaps if we can explain the situation and show him Bella's scars,  
he will see that there was no choice in the matter."

"What about the werewolves? If we tell them werewolves killed them, they will know. The Quileute, including my children, will be in danger." Bella became excited. "We can't let the Volturi know about them."

"You are right. I don't know what we can do. If we explain it to Aro, we will need to tell him the truth. He would be able to extract it from us anyway. We can't run and leave them helpless." Carlisle was almost muttering to himself as he rambled. "We cannot defy him either. The Volturi have the largest coven in the world. There are around a couple hundred of them. The only other coven that even comes close is ours, which now stands at eight."

"We do have the advantage that they do not know about the werewolves and they think that we single-handedly took on a pack of twenty newborns and their creator." Edward volunteered. "It will give them some caution."

Everyone knew the future was bleak. They were outnumbered even with the werewolves. The people of La Push were doomed if an army of hungry vampires descended.

"I got it!" Belled jumped up. "I need to call Jacob!"

THE SUN WAS rising majestically over the clearing, and eight beautiful vampires began to sparkle. Just when Bella thought she couldn't stand the beauty of it any longer, the clouds moved in.

Bella had promised faithfully that she would not interfere. This time she knew that if she interfered, it might cost her a loved one. She stood at the top of the ridge, as safe as she could be and still perform her part.

Just as in her dream, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie stood safely to the side.

Across the forest behind them, within easy distance, lay La Push. Bella's children, her family and her friends were there. Between them and the approaching danger, in that stand of trees stood the protectors. Proud, brave, noble Quileute warriors ready to attack the vampire army if they dared come that way. Her heart ached for a moment for what was gone for her, as she knew Jacob was there in that forest, with Leah.

However, what gave them all the advantage this clear morning was the addition of Jacob's adopted family in Texas, the Alabama-Coushatta tribe. Encircling the forest were hundreds if not thousands of them in the form of the huge black wolves.

They were another noble ancient tribe that protected humans from vampires. After Bella's phone conversation with Jacob, he had contacted Chief Morgan Caulder. Chief Caulder brought the Alabama-Coushatta tribe to La Push to safeguard her loved ones. Fortunately, they too had not yet been detected by the Volturi. Surprise and skill were on their side.

Snapped back to the present, Bella caught their scent before she saw them. The smell of a human-eating vampire would be a smell she would never forget. It was a deathly sickening sweet smell, mingled with rust. Then she saw them, hundreds of menacing vampires of all sizes and shapes, men and women alike. They all wore long, flowing grey-hooded robes.

As the army continued its advance over the ridge, Bella spotted Caius and saw her opening. "Caius." She called. "Here is what you want."

Caius looked up and grinned maliciously. "Ah, Bella. How polite of you to save me the trouble of searching for you." He walked carefully closer to her. "I am surprised Edward is not fiercely protecting you as he normally does."

"We can see that we have no chance before your advancing army and we wanted to try a truce." Bella implored.

"I see no reason for a truce." He laughed. "Did you give dear Jane a chance, Bella? I will make you pay for everything you have done."

"Jane gave me no chance." Bella held her head high as she removed her jacket to show the bite marks that covered her arms. At Caius's gasp, she pulled up her pant legs and to show him the marks there.

"I knew she was a vicious little devil, but I didn't know how vicious." He laughed as if admiring her work. "I have been told to take you alive, Bella, but unfortunately, you are going to struggle and you won't survive. No one here will survive." His laughter continued.

"Let it be known that we tried to call a truce, but you would not listen." Bella called aloud to the advancing army and all who could hear.

As if on cue, massive black wolves seemed to appear from nowhere, jumping through the air from the surrounding forest. The clearing echoed with metallic screeching as the wolves viciously tore each vampire to shreds.

Edward and Carlisle began gathering disembodied parts and throwing them in a huge pile. In order to keep the vampires from reassembling themselves, Alice lit the large wiggling mass with a lighter. It caught quickly and soon a purple cloud hung low over the clearing.

Caius, having been caught off guard, began to scream. "No. You will pay for this." He lunged at Bella and caught her throat. Blackness began to descend upon her, but before he had the chance to rip her head off, as he intended, a huge black wolf jumped from behind Bella and caught the unsuspecting Caius in his great mouth. Biting down greedily, the wolf snapped Caius into and tossed him into the fire. As soon as he landed, he caught fire and was reduced to ash within seconds.

When Caius released Bella, she fell to the ground unconscious. "No! Bella!" Edward roared. She was too far gone to hear him.

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	19. Deja Vu

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 19 – Déjà vu

Bella's eyes fluttered open. The blanket she lay on was warm and soft. Everyone survived the Volturi War. Bella's heart skipped a beat with happiness. Startled, she placed her had on her chest and miraculously found a heartbeat. Alarmed, she sat up suddenly, still clutching her chest.  
Jacob was beside her, leaned back casually on the blanket. "Are you okay, honey?" He asked as he began to stroke her back.

"Jacob? What's going on?" She asked in a panicked voice.

"What do you mean, love?" He continued to caress her as he pulled her against him. "Did you have another one of your silly nightmares?"

_**It had been a nightmare!**_ Bella realized. She pressed closer to Jacob and hugged him tight. Her lips quickly found his and she gave him a sweet, soft kiss as she breathed deeply the  
familiar woodsy scent that was Jacob.

As she pulled away reluctantly, a warning alarm seemed to go off in her head as the dread of déjà vu persisted. There was Jake and Sarah chasing the bird through the meadow. The sky suddenly darkened and it began to mist. At that moment, the bird took a turn for the forest and Jake and Sarah turned to follow it, their tiny black heads bobbing as they ran. _**Oh, no. It wasn't  
a nightmare!**_ She thought. _**It was a vision!**_ Alarmed, Bella screamed, "Jake! Sarah! Come here immediately."

"What's the matter, Bells?" Jacob jumped up to chase after them. "I'll get the kids. We'll meet you at the car. Can you get that okay?" He pointed to the remainder of our picnic.

"No! Grab them quickly and come back to me. We will run to the car together." Bella said as she quickly began shoving things into the picnic basket.

"Ok." He grabbed the twins, who had trotted up by that time. He and Bella ran to the car as the rain came down harder. Bella ran through the forest, stumbling some here and there. Puzzled by her haste, Jacob kept up with her easily. When they finally made it to the car, Bella threw the basket in the back seat and helped Jacob strap the kids in their car seats. It was then that the wolf pack started running past them.

"What's going on?" He yelled as the wolves rushed by. One of the wolves stopped and transformed. It was Seth Clearwater. Before he could speak, Bella blurted out, "Vampires."  
Seth nodded and then he jumped into the air, instantly phasing into the wolf form and charged through the woods.

"How did you know?" Jacob asked incredulously.

"Just drive Jacob, as far as you can drive." She managed through numb lips. "They are hunting _**me**_. Let's leave now and don't look back. I'll explain everything on the way!"

EPILOUGE

Deep in the heart of Texas, near the Alabama-Coushetta tribe, Jacob, Bella and their two children made their home. While Bella misses her friends back in La Push and Forks, she is happy with her family and new friends.

Jacob moved his inventory into a shop adjacent to their home in Texas. On rainy days, Jacob closes shop so he can be near Bella and the children to protect them.

They had an elaborate, ultra sensitive alarm system installed, that includes 24-hour surveillance by a highly sensitive werewolf. They don't expect any problems, but should it ever happen, they are prepared.

Bella's expecting their third child. Life's good.

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	20. Alternate Ending

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 20 – Alternate Ending for Edward Lovers**

"Bella! Are you okay?" Edward shook her gently.

"I'm fine, Edward. Please stop shaking me."

Edward stopped and pulled her into his arms. "I will never get used to you fainting, Bella. It's terrifying."

She looked across the clearing and saw the remains of the army burning under a thick purple cloud. The wolves were now in their human forms, men and women in cutoffs and tank tops. Both tribes milling around with each other talking and laughing, sharing war stories and victories. Chief Caulder approached cautiously. "Carlisle." He extended his hand. "Jacob told me about your coven here and how you and your family are_** vegans**_. I am proud to know such a vampire."

"Thank you." Carlisle smiled cordially. It looked as though he would be blushing if he could. "I thank you for your help in saving my family and friends."

At that moment, Jacob walked out of the cloud before Bella. Bella pulled away from Edward. "Jake!" She breathed in a small voice.

"Bella." Jacob cried softly. The one word was filled with agony. Bella could tell that he was trying to keep his emotions in check, just as hard as she was. Tentatively, she reached for him and hugged him cautiously to her chest. She could feel him trembling and didn't know if it was because of her or that she was a vampire. When she looked at him, tears were coursing down his cheeks. "Bella. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. But you stink." He laughed.

Bella began laughing too. "Well, I was just thinking that you don't smell that bad to me. I can smell the blood, but it is overpowered by the woodsy smell I always associate with you."

He softly kissed her forehead and pushed her gently back to Edward's waiting arms.

Bella looked at Edward quizzically. "He is having trouble keeping from morphing with you so close." Edward whispered, answering her unspoken question. "You will always be in his heart."

At that, Bella bowed her head and wished she could weep with Jacob. At that moment, Leah approached. Bella waived her to come join them. Leah came up to Jacob and without words hugged him gently. Her brown eyes looked sorrowfully at Bella.

A shock of Déjà vu struck Bella as she remembered her dream. Jacob had pushed her away and said he was her memories. Leah had come up and sadly considered Bella. Then Leah and Jacob had left together. She had to help Jacob heal. "Jake. There will always be a part of my heart that belongs to you. If there were a way to come back to you, I would." She looked at Edward and back to Jake and Leah. "I know you are my memories and they are happy ones. I miss you and the kids. I know that you and Leah belong together and probably always did. Go with Leah and be happy knowing that I will always love you."

Jacob nodded. "Bella, when Jake and Sarah are old enough to go to council at the beach, I will tell them about the sacrifices you made for them. Then they will know that their mother lives and she is a noble vampire."

Dry sobs wracked Bella at the happy thought of being able to see her children again one day. She leaned up and kissed Jacob one last time and turned to Leah. "Don't let them forget me." Bella implored. Leah nodded, then she and Jacob left together, hand in hand, back to the life that used to be hers.

WATCHING THE SURF roll in and out, Bella and Edward shared a bottle of sparkling cider on their honeymoon villa balcony. "Now that was a perfect wedding." Bella laughed. "The kind I always wanted."

"That, my love, was the wedding I always wanted too." Edward leaned over and gently kissed Bella's lips. He had kissed her many times throughout the day.

Since there was no such thing as a "quickie divorce" any more, Bella and Jacob had to wait a few months for the papers to be finalized. To ensure that no one knew about Bella's death certificate, she filed for divorce from Edward's home in Chicago.

The divorce had been finalized this morning. Edward and Bella got married at City Hall and flew to Hawaii. Staying at a remote villa on the island, they planned to be able to get a lot of sun.

As Edward kissed Bella, he took her glass and placed it on the banister. He pulled her tiny body close against him. His hands gently framed her face and he kissed her deeply. Her mouth tasted sweet and inviting. "Mrs. Cullen." Edward picked her up and took her to the huge four-poster bed. Pulling back the gauzy white curtains, he placed her gently in the center. "I hope you don't mind, but I am going to treasure you right now and for eternity."

"That's all I ever wanted Edward, my love." She sighed as she gave herself to her husband-her soul mate. "Eternity with you."

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